hydraulic jack project
This semester I took part in the integrated project in which I had my first true experience applying principles of chemical engineering. This really intrigued me as I had found a practical application for chemical engineering in today's world. The major project that we carried out is a hydraulic jack that is operated using a chemical reaction. It helped me to develop my soft skills especially leadership, structural problem-solving, critical observation and communication skills, as we encountered a lot of problems along the way as well as having to cooperate with each other for long period of time to meet the deadlines. With all the effort that we had made, we achieved a Gold Award. This scheme gave me an informative insight into different kinds of problems that engineers must solve.
As a future chemical engineer, communication skill will allow me to be more productive while structured problem-solving skill would help me to solve problems that are highly complex and open- ended. Companies need critical thinkers so critical observation skill will bring a fresh perspective and offer intuitive solutions and ideas to improve the process. Plus, leadership will allow me to learn how to manage people, motivate a team, and take on more responsibility.
Try to minimize your usage of filler words that do not add substance/content to your essay. Doing this can help optimize your essay's writing space because you would be more straightforward with what you want to say. Evade lengthy sentences that have complex structures; you should rather use simpler sentences that can evoke the right emotion.
Let's take a look at your first paragraph.
For one, the introductory sentence can be rewritten as:
I took part in an integrated project this semester, making it my first experience in applying chemical engineering principles.
Notice how moving a couple of words around, tossing in a comma to mark a transition, and removing unnecessary words can help you create smoother sentences that do not drag too long. These sentences, furthermore, are able to retell the same story while still saving you space for more details in other portions of the text.
When it comes to the third sentence, you were encountering the same issues. I would revise this line as:
I had developed leadership, structural problem-solving, critical observation, and communication skills from needing to enhance cooperation for longer periods of time to meet deadlines.
As for your second paragraph, I suggest that you add a comma or a semi-colon in between productive and while to have a better transition. You should also do the same in the succeeding sentence between thinkers and so.
In terms of content, I think that you need to be more specific about what you want to achieve. While you had laid out fundamental principles, you weren't able to substantiate how these function in the real-world. I would suggest that you try to revisit a moment in your past wherein you had encountered an analytical issue and was not able to solve it. You can discuss how you now have the skills and intuition to resolve these problems, making you more competent in the long-run.
The more specific you are, the better.
Best of luck.
