Chevening scholarship networking question
We are looking for individuals with strong networking skills, who will engage with our community and influence and lead others in their chosen profession. Explain how you meet this requirement, using clear examples of your networking skills, and outline how you hope to use these skills in the future.
Since I was an undergraduate student in my faculty, I always wanted to expand my knowledge and horizon. Thus, I needed to be a prominent and well-known person in my domain. Hence, I found that volunteering in Syrian Smiles project has multifaceted interests, one of which is to initiate building my network. By participating in this activity in 2011, I got along with some professors, students and other volunteering participants. Nevertheless, I was selective to include some specific persons in my circle, of which I recognized having high potential to assume important posts in the near future, and I successfully got along with Professor Omar Hishma who became after two years the head of the Maxillofacial Surgery department in Damascus University. Furthermore, the major advantage I received by then was a job offer in Prof Omar Hishma's clinic right after graduation. Which was a significant possibility not only to work on this high tech and state-of-the-art equipment, but also for the people I will have the chance to meet, like decision makers in the ministry of education, how things are done in this administrative level and the biggest dental equipment sponsors in Syria.
Based on my network I clarify that attending in the Cosmetic Dentistry course is of the essence to get many privileges, and to further extend my network, I applied for supervisor occupation in my department over most of undergraduate students. In 2016, I was invited to carry out a presentation (endodontically treated teeth therapies) in a coursework from JAKOBA by NATHAWI firm (the most prominent corporation for dental materials and equipment in Syria). After this presentation, I received a job offer as an assistant in Syrian Private University SPU over the laboratory activities in the second semester in 2017. Recently, I have been promoted to be a supervisor after one semester.
It is not only the talent that I utilized in order to evolve my network; I also honed my premature skills by attending a Career Development online course on ShawAcadime platform in London 2016.
Because the inherited meaning of networking is generosity, not selfishness, I was also helpful to others. One of which was a dental assistant in the clinic who moved to another district, thus, she approached me for a job and after searching and investigations, I was lucky to find a suitable vacant. Therefore, I knew how networking constructs a society.
When I will be a Chevening awardee, I will further enhance my networking skills and widen my circle, by dealing with professional people from all over the world. I will guarantee a positive impact in this amazing, highly educated and worldwide network. Furthermore, I am planning to conduct interviews on TVs, social media and a presentation about my experience in the UK community in general and in Chevening network in particular in New Horizon Center, in which I have attended lectures about a variety of topics like International Students' Challenges and Benefits in the UK ( similar to TEDx platform).Holt Educational Consultant - / 14,864 
4788 Mohamad, no amount of bragging regarding contacts you claim to have made will be useful to your application because you are not really highlighting how the network has helped you in a professional manner. You are constantly speaking of yourself and the job opportunities it created for you but you never once mentioned how these networks have helped you during your professional career.
You lack a clear networking of at least one network that you created which was able to help you complete a work task. You are mentioning names of people who are known to you, but could be of no importance to the reviewer as well. Unless you have the absolute written permission of these people via a letter of recommendation, then you should not be mentioning their names in this essay or any other essay for that matter in relation to Chevening.
The essay is highly confusing to read as you are not indicating if you are a professor who deals with dentistry students or something. The network you present should have a direct relation to the profession you are performing in. Regardless of your academic background as those networks do not really count as professional contacts unless you can actually cite an actual, non job hiring related explanation for it. By the way, the idea that you got someone a job using contacts is shallow and irrelevant to the discussion. You need something meatier to present such as a contact who helped you gain something that led to a promotion for you at work. Or having someone approach you for a job related purpose that required you call upon your contact. Don't say you used your contacts to find someone a job. Anybody can do that for anyone they know and would like to help.
In totality, this does not sound like a networking essay at all. It sounds more like an expanded version of your resume with your duties and responsibilities as a rank and file employee being enumerated in the hopes of having these information pass for a valid professional network. Which it isn't. You are also so self-centered in this essay that you have failed to explain how you will work with the Chevening community to assist other scholars, both past and present, who have a need for your particular type of network. Don't forget that Chevening is concerned first and foremost, with the relevance of your network to their community and second, how you can help your community members when needed.
Based on the above comments, I guess it should be obvious to you that the only solution for your information problem in this essay will be to write a totally new essay that is more functional and relevant in terms of properly presenting your networking skills and its usability in your professional life.
Many thanks to you @HOLT for your time and effort reviewing the essay, I believe I misunderstood the meaning and the purpose of the networking essay, thus I was out of context, however, I am going to write a total new essay considering the following main points:
focus on how I used my network in work-related tasks, and to organize or help a conference/seminar accomplishment as a part of my duties.
Don't include any names
how I will pay back in the future in terms of helping the Chevening alumina network
