Chevening Leadership essay -- innovation in the newsroom

Hi all, please mind to review this Chevening Leadership essay, thx in advance!

journalism industry in Indonesia

My role is as a writer in at one of national online news room to help the editor on spesific channel. But our team is had slow paced, less productive, uneffective organized. We often got complain from our superordinate, editor in chief.

But, I believe this team actually has potential to be better. So I made a plan to change to encourage the team to work faster and produce more. I initite to start work more effective and faster for my self to influence the team. My goal is tried to outpaced everyone productivity to know that this goal is achieveable.

After I felt this target actually achieveable, I tried to increasing my subordinate daily article target gradually. Proven that they actually could produce more and faster than before. In the end of the day, I give appraisal for every improvement they made.

To influence my peer and editor, I initiate to have a daily traffic insight from a report to give insight on which topic are interesting to reader. From this report we can oversee the trend among the reader. Then I give insight on my peer and editor on how we can use the data. This report also can be used to have insight about the performance when we want to have experimental article.

The result, we can work more effectively, gain more news done per day basis, and our Editor in Chief got less complain on us. Its also improve our overall traffic and making us more experimental to figure out the best way attracting reader to our site.

Leadership is not about having a position, but how we handle a situation, give a solution to that matters, and encourage the team to do the action.

I also believe experiment is the other necessity for a leader to make innovation on their expertice vertical, in my case journalism. Specially in these days when technology are disrupt every business vertical. I think this is the time for journalism industry in Indonesia to adapt with latest inovative technology.

Shantika, hope my comment below is useful.

There are grammatical errors in your essay. firstly, the word "But" is actually conjunction which should use to connect two sentence, do not use it in the beginning of sentence. secondly, the sentence: My goal is tried to outpaced ... Trying to be the best in productivity in the office is my goal because I would like to show my colleague that the target actually achievable.

the paragraph is not arrange very well. you should learn how to arrange the paragraph. you can use the basic:

first paragraph: introduction
second: body paragraph
third : body paragraph
last paragraph: conclusion

@thk
Hi, I think your content has potential, but there are lots of spelling and grammar errors. I think you may have used the word 'appraisal' when you mean 'praise'? the two have different meanings! The same with 'complain', in this context you may need to use 'complaints' or 'complained'. You need to rewrite these bits according the rules of grammar.

Your story about the trend report you initiated is interesting but is unclear from your narration. Do see if you can get your points across more coherently!

Ms @holt would you mind to reviewing this essay?

Santhika, this essay sounds like you used the worst kind of online translator for your essay. The whole essay causes stress for the reader, shows that even as a journalist you do not have any grasp of how to form even the simplest of English sentences, and that you are most likely not capable of participating in an English based masters class at the highest academic level required. Your application will be revoked immediately upon the reading of this essay. The reviewer will immediately realize that you will not qualify based on the language requirements of the scholarship. Your English language skills, based upon this writing is at the beginner level, which does not bode well for your application.

I strongly suggest that you seek professional writing help for the proper completion of your essay. While I can pick up what it is that you are trying to say, the lack of clarity and coherence in your essay will prevent it from being fully read by the reviewer. He does not have the time to try to figure out what you are trying to say. Since the first few sentences of your essay are already problematic, you cannot expect the reviewer to finish reading your paper.

This presentation has potential. What is needs is an effective rewrite so that it can be presented at its strongest to the reviewer.

Ok, thanks Ms @Holt thank you for your review, I'll improve on it