Study in UK essay
I try to take into consideration the comments I had received in other essays and this is how I write my Study in UK essay.
I will be happy to take any comments.
Since I was a high school student it was my dream to study in UK and gain an experience from the education system, facilities and the peoples around. Up to now I had little experience in my previous study which is mainly focused on Communication System Engineering and from my work. And the next and very important step for me is to enhance an in-depth knowledge and experience from the peoples and organization in UK. In order to achieve that, I am highly interested to pursue my postgraduate study from one of the three world class UK universities.
My first choice is to study Wireless Communication Systems course in Brunel University. Some of the areas this program concentrated are; wireless communication network design, security and management. The program will enable me to implement my theoretical knowledge to real world experience. Also I am highly interested in the university's women in engineering program which will help me to gain an experience for my future plan to works on girls and education and to help them be part of the engineering world.
My second choice is to study Wireless Communication in University of Southampton. It is known that University of Southampton is one of the top three universities in UK in its Electronics and Electrical Engineering department. It will enable me to achieve my goal in terms of education which is to learn and explore about the wireless world since the program focuses on the likes of wireless and mobile networks, signal processing and radio communication.
Telecommunications and Wireless Systems course given by the University of Liverpool is my third choice. This course covers areas such as network system design, signal processing and also programming for wireless systems. This will enable me to know more about the telecommunication and wireless system and also to enrich for my future research plan in telecommunication, wireless systems and cognitive radio which are my future research interest areas.
As a university lecturer in Communications System Engineering I do believe I have what it takes to cope up with my choices which will enable me to be experienced for my future plans.
I liked the introduction but I think the 3rd paragraph needs some development avoiding university ranking and to have more focus on the course modules.
Thank you Esam, I will do.
[Contributor] - / 8,621 2516
Hiwot, you do understand that you are applying for a masters degree course right? So that means that you are a college graduate. Which means, you are professional with at least 2 years of work experience. As such, you are expected to have the professional and educational background with which to complete your choice of masters degree course. The reviewer is not interested in your opening remarks. Those are irrelevant. Your educational discussion must focus on a summary presentation of your college course and your academic achievements that will prove you have the educational foundation to understand the course requirements of your chosen masters line of study.
Your opening statement is meant for a college level common prompt response.It is not masters degree level writing. It does not show the ability of this student to write masters degree level papers with a proficiency to understand simple English instructions. The minute your opening statement is read, your essay will be set in the "discard" pile. You will not get an opportunity for consideration if you do not try to level up your writing skills by proving that you understand what the prompts are requiring you to present in terms of information about certain things related to your application. I
am trying to help you do that but it really seems like an uphill climb and I am limited in my capacity to assist you in additional development of your paper because of forum regulations. Try to help me here because I am doing my best to help you.
Revise your first two statements and use the following outline for your paragraph discussions. Do not change anything. Just write it in the manner that I am presenting it to you. That is the only way you can improve your paper and hopefully, achieve a masters level writing skill in your presentation.
Par. 1 - Discuss your college education and your achievements during that time. Explain how it prepared you to become a professional in this field.
Par. 2 - Present your professional qualifications. Explain how long you have been doing this job, what your training and seminars have prepared you to do, what shortcomings you have in your current position that prevent you from resolving certain issues or improving certain aspects of the job.
Par. 3-5- Discuss each university course, present the academic studies that directly relate to the course requirements and your professional background that has prepared you for this educational path. That means, references to "Up to now I had little experience" will not be an asset or a positive statement in your paragraph. Remove all undermining information and focus on presenting yourself as a professional whose interests will be served by this course. Clarify your explanations about how these courses will result in career progress for you upon its completion. Don't say "The program will enable me". Rather, say "Completing this program will allo me to function in a higher capacity as.... within my workplace" Or something similar.
There is no need for a concluding statement or additional presentations. Just write your revised essay based on this outline. That will be its final form.
Dear Mary, based on your suggestions here is what I do but I still have to work on the word limit, any suggestions please
The knowledge I gained with the course contents, teaching methodology and presentations practices I had helped me for professional career as a lecturer in Electrical and Computer Engineering course. Also I worked my thesis on wireless communication and the investigations I made and the knowledge I gained at that time was a cornerstone for my research interest.
As I am working as a university lecturer since 2014, I had an opportunity to attend seminars and conferences which enabled me to enhance my knowledge of Communication Engineering. In my professional career not only I am expected to teach students but also it demands me to participate in the research community. Even though the seminars and conferences I had attended gave me an insight for my career the technology and resources that are available around does not fit to the latest technology. This makes it as obstacle for me not to able to enhance my career.
Studying in UK was my long term interest for my postgraduate study. It is because of the universities being top in the world, the education system being suitable for international students, facilities and the peoples around. In order to achieve that, I am highly interested to pursue my postgraduate study from either one of the three world class UK universities to gain an insight on the wireless and telecommunication courses along with the good research capability.
My first choice is to study Wireless Communication Systems course in Brunel University. Some of the areas this program concentrated are; wireless communication network design, security and management which will develop a detailed technical knowledge of current practice in wireless networks. Completing this program allows me to implement my theoretical knowledge to real world experience and also enhance my career with research capability. Also I am highly interested in the university's women in engineering program which will help me to gain an experience for my future plan to works on girls and education and to help them be part of the engineering world. In addition to the modules and the facilities, the location of the campus contributes in making it my first choice as it is a vibrant city with a lot of experience to attain.
My second choice is to [...]
...and radio communication. By studying in here I will enhance my career as lecturer and research capability with the help of the modules available. Besides education exploring the city with its culture and history will enhance my experience.
Telecommunications and Wireless Systems course given by the University of Liverpool is my third choice. This program gives emphasis on areas such as network system design, signal processing and also programming for wireless and telecommunication systems. By studying this course it will help me to know more about the telecommunication and wireless system and also to enrich for my future research in telecommunication, wireless systems and cognitive radio which are my future research interest areas as a researcher. Also Liverpool is one of the historical cities of UK which I will explore.
Removing the city explanation will reduce my word count to 505 but I still have to work on it. can I exclude the first paragraph and start with the second one or is there any other option?
Hi Hiwi, following the second you attempt you write. I think that the way you write that essay does not have a good flow, for example, the par 4 and 5 opening is exactly the same and it would reduce the chances of getting the master's degree course.
Try for yourself if this is better for you to write:
I believe the program of Wireless Communication Systems at Bruel University would enhance me in various levels such as..
Hope that helps.
[Contributor] - / 8,621 2516
Hiwi, you were right to assume that I will have you remove the city descriptions in the essay. Go ahead and do that. Paragraph 2 and 3 should also be removed to tighten the focus and presentation of the essay. It is important that after you present your academic and professional capabilities, that your next paragraphs focus on the universities and courses itself. That way you will have totally achieved an accurate presentation based on prompt requirements and also, assure yourself that you will be under the word count. As long as you write more than 100 words, the essay will be acceptable to the reviewer. It does not matter that you use the same opening sentence successively in this instance. You are not taking an English exam. You are just writing about why you have chosen the university. While there is a focus on your grammar skills, the decision to accept you into the program will not be based on whether or not you can write what you want to say in 12 different ways. It is more focused on your know-how and preparedness to take an MS course. There is no need to edit those 2 paragraphs based on your presentation of the opening sentence. Ideally, for this type of essay, 450 words will be more than sufficient to address the task. After you remove the references I made in this comment, you can assume that your essay is in its final form and ready for submission to the Chevening committee. I wish you the best with this submission.
Thank you Mary, I will do that and can you see my career plans please.
I am suggesting to discuss more how each course will add to you insted of detailing course structure and topics. Also I think You should mention how studying this topic specifically in the UK is better. And your interest -if possible- in Europan culture. Also adding the status of the industry in UK and how developed it is. Best of luck.