Coffee,the most important commodity in the Cental Highlands; SCHOLARSHIP

plz help me revise my answer
3. How will the proposed study contribute to your career development
The improvement in the quality of agricultural products plays a very important role in increasing incomes for poor small holder farmers. And coffee is the most important commodity in the Central Highland area. However, Vietnam's coffee is mostly traded under the form of raw material with poor quality and low price, thus the profit, which famers gain, is negligible, and Vietnamese coffee sector always faces unstable situation. My training will develop my techniques to help find the most effectively method to apply in coffee harvesting and processing for the sake of the most significant increase the quality of exported green coffee, going up income for famers, ensuring a sustainable developing chain of coffee sector.

In addition, with course of Food safety and quality management will be very helpful for my analyzing of the problems that persist in current Food quality management system of Vietnam, and allow me offer the most effective reforms, especially for coffee quality management system.

Diversification of agricultural products is also a potential trend for sustainable development of Vietnam's agriculture in the future. The courses such as Food chemistry & analysis, Food sensory & physical assessment, Advanced Food & Agricultural science, Food microbiology, Principles of food preservation....will provide me with solid knowledge background and methodologies, which help me to deeper understand the biochemistry transfers during food processing as well as preservation, to response my questions in current researches, to make new research ideas in improving a stage of food processing for creating typical products of area and to find out the most effectively preservation methods for important commodities of Central Highland like cacao, avocado, durian...so as to balance of agricultural products between areas.

The possibility to combine theoretical studies with practical skills in food science at Australia will enable me to become a good specialist who will be able to contribute to the modifications in agricultural production of Vietnam.

plz correct continuously my answer. thank you for your help

I particularly find the course "Food safety and Quality Management" very helpful for enhancing my skills on analyzing the problems persisting in current Food quality management system of Vietnam. This would further allow me to suggest most effective reforms, especially in the area od cofee quality management system.


...I think that sounds a bit repetitive as an idea because you have said much about it in your previous sentences. This is my suggestion for this part;

[i]... and with this knowledge and exposure, I hope to make my share of contribution to my country's agricultural sector for its betterment.[/i]

thank you a lot.
might you help me revise this paragraph:
"Diversification of agricultural products is also a potential trend for sustainable development of Vietnam's agriculture in the future. The courses such as Food chemistry & analysis, Food sensory & physical assessment, Advanced Food & Agricultural science, Food microbiology, Principles of food preservation....will provide me with solid knowledge background and methodologies, which help me to deeper understand the biochemistry transfers during food processing as well as preservation, to response my questions in current researches, to make new research ideas in improving a stage of food processing for creating typical products of area and to find out the most effectively preservation methods for important commodities of Central Highland like cacao, avocado, durian...so as to balance of agricultural products between areas"

i dont think it is ok, but i dont know how to correct it. plz help me

plz help me revise my answer
How did you identify chosen course of study
During the years of working at WASI, I took part in carrying out a lot of research projects of harvest and postharvest, and I recognized that there were enormous potentials in applying biotechnology in post-harvest. Nevertheless, the application of biotechnology in agricultural research and production is a weakness of WASI as well as Vietnam. Through my constant interaction with farmers, I realized that there exist a lot of drawbacks in their harvesting and processing technology, such as: primitive technology in preservation, backward situation of processing technology. Therefore Vietnamese farmers often surfer huge losses in yield. I strong believe deeper researches on the application of advanced technology of biotechnology will resolve these problems. Therefore I am eager to continuously study food science and biotechnology.

I never want to be settle for better- I always want to become the best. I have a great ambition to become an expert in food science, however I lack knowledge of biotechnology such as biological chemistry, microbiology, and advanced food analytical methods, that would enable me to dig the most deeply in this field. I was very excited when I understood that biotechnology applied in agriculture is the strength of Australia. Therefore, my study at Australia would open the door to the opportunities:

- To learn advanced technology and apply it the most effectively in my agriculture research, play a very important role for the Central Highlands region of Vietnam. Since food technology has general principle, I am able to use my skills across harvesting, processing, producing coffee, cacao, pepper, avocado, which are important commodities, to create diversification of products and a balance of agricultural products between areas, this is also a potential trend for sustainable development of Vietnam's agriculture in the future.

- To learn other soft skills such as modern food analysis methods, project management, strategy building...
- To develop my professional networks in the field in Australia which will allow me to bring to my institute more opportunities to exchange knowledge, experience, and research methodology and thus better research outcomes.

I am certain that my study in Australia will create a synergy between my work experience, gained education and personal features and also will allow me to become the leader in Food science not only in my institute but also Vietnam.

...


....let's say this differently;
However, with my work experience, I found that the application of biotechnology in agricultural research and production needs a lot of improvement.



I strongly believe that deeper researches on the application fo advanced biotechnology would resolve these issues. Therefore I am eager to continue my studies in food science and biotechnology.

Please note, you need to open a fresh thread if you post a new essay on a different topic.

thank you, Dumi.

plz, help me correct the next paragraph:
I never want to be settle for better- I always want to become the best. I have a great ambition to become an expert in food science, however I lack knowledge of biotechnology such as biological chemistry, microbiology, and advanced food analytical methods, that would enable me to dig the most deeply in this field. I was very excited when I understood that biotechnology applied in agriculture is the strength of Australia. Therefore, my study at Australia would open the door to the opportunities:

- To learn advanced technology and apply it the most effectively in my agriculture research, play a very important role for the Central Highlands region of Vietnam. Since food technology has general principle, I am able to use my skills across harvesting, processing, producing coffee, cacao, pepper, avocado, which are important commodities, to create diversification of products and a balance of agricultural products between areas, this is also a potential trend for sustainable development of Vietnam's agriculture in the future.

- To learn other soft skills such as modern food analysis methods, project management, strategy building...
- To develop my professional networks in the field in Australia which will allow me to bring to my institute more opportunities to exchange knowledge, experience, and research methodology and thus better research outcomes.

I am certain that my study in Australia will create a synergy between my work experience, gained education and personal features and also will allow me to become the leader in Food science not only in my institute but also Vietnam.

I understood understand that biotechnology applied in agriculture is the strength of Australia. Therefore, my study at Australia would open the door to the opportunities:

I never wanted to settle for better and always aspire to be the best. .... you are a great character and wish you all the best ;)


I am determined to become an effective expert in food science, however I know I need to enhance my knowledge in biotechnology discipline such as in the areas of biological chemistry, microbiology, and advanced food analytical methods, if I am to pursue this dream seriously.


I was amazed to learn how well Australia makes use of biotechnology applications in agriculture and I am confident that it is the place that would open the door for me to opportunities ;