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Community service (scholarship essay)



Mochi_Krystal 2 / 3  
Jan 24, 2024   #1
Prompt: Please tell us about the work you have done or are doing now for the community. Which community problems were you attempting to address, and to what extent were your efforts successful? What challenges did you have to overcome and how did you overcome them? What did you learn from the experience? Characters with spaces: 3000 max

In my definition, community, which defines and shapes our values, makes me who I am today. Serving the community which has the power to impact not only our lives but also the lives of youths both in the present and in the future is a precious opportunity. As far as I can remember, my first time involvement in community service started with simple and small deeds which were picking up litters scattered around our neighborhood with a large sack with my mother at least thrice a week. My mother, my role model, has always taught me that no matter how small the acts were, it can still bring meaningful impact and awareness to the surroundings. My mother's teachings played a big role in changing my mindset about the world and the community.

As I grew up, recognizing that I have a passion for imparting knowledge through teaching and mentoring, I started to contemplate on how my strengths would benefit my community. It led me to address a significant basic problem that has been with us since our parents' time: the education system that prioritizes exam-talking skills when it comes to the English language. For example, the system in our country does not acknowledge the students' understanding of this subject, but the fixed format that every student must follow to score a high mark in the exam. It was far worse in rural areas where there are not enough quality teachers and resources. Thus, I was determined that with the skills I possess, I would tackle the issues of language barriers and quality education. Even though I had ambitious goals, my lack of experience and my introverted nature set me back. However, I grasped the opportunity of interacting with people by volunteering as an English trainer at an educational organization first, and doing so encourages me to develop furthermore as an English teacher thanks to its community. By the time I noticed, I was enjoying what I was doing, meeting lots of new people, and sharing our knowledge with each other. It was truly my calling and I learnt my passion through that connection. Afterwards, after volunteering at different organizations, I gained hands-on experience through mentorship, observation, and feedback from both senior teachers and students. By surveying the students, I implemented interactive teaching techniques in detail that catered their needs. Because of my determination and efforts, it seemed to have affected the students since I received many positive feedbacks about how they were thankful they got to meet with a passionate teacher who listens and understands them and is good at teaching.

However, funding constraints for online education posed another challenge. As I wish to provide the best experience for them, I collaborate with like-minded teachers, invest our money, seek alternative online resources, and ensure quality education reaches those who need it. As a result, students who previously faced language challenges not only gained confidence but excelled in their online learning experiences.

Currently, I am working as a volunteer in one of the non-profit organizations that focuses on the well-being of disabilities. Providing quality education with small fees, we donate funds to disabilities once enough funds have been gathered. I am glad I can be a part of this community since the joy of seeing their happy faces becomes my motivation. Through these experiences, I've learned the profound impact of small acts and the resilience needed to overcome challenges.

Serving the community will always play a crucial role in my goals in life. I have yet a lot to learn but once I become more educated and provided with additional knowledge, it will increase my ability on what I can apply to future projects and I hope to extend my hand not only for my community but also for the different communities throughout the world. Therefore, by getting Child Dream scholarship, I believe that I can leave a long lasting in more lives.

Characters with spaces: 3947

This is prompt 2, and this is also about that problem.
I would appreciate if you could help me with this. This is my first time writing scholarship essays, so I am in need of feedbacks.

Does it cover all the prompts?
Does it deliever properly to the prompts according to it's mission and vision?

Also, the problem is that my essay character exceeded the given limit. I tried my best to edit and omit out some info. Which part should I fix and omit so that the intention of this essay isn't affected while managing the character limit?

-These are the vision and mission.

VISION

Educated and empowered people responsibly shaping and sustaining fair, just and healthy societies for generations to come.

MISSION

We exist to ensure that children and young adults in the Mekong Sub-Region, affected by inequality, grow up to be healthy and have access to quality education and better employment opportunities. Everything we do enables them to live empowered and self-determined lives as equal and active members of society, with the potential to become responsible leaders of change.

Holt  Educational Consultant - / 15384  
Jan 28, 2024   #2
You are not being asked to define what a community means to you. That whole paragraph is worthless in the presentation. You are also addressing the same problem as you are in the first prompt. You need to vary your responses to show that you have a wide interest in your community and you are not wearing blinders when it comes to the concerns of the community. You should be showing the reviewer that you have other community concerns in this case. The constant focus on education does not really tell him anything in terms of your community development, interests, and varied exposure to your neighbors. You really need to write a totally new response in this case.


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