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Competition as the path to success. GKS-G. Masters degree in EDUCATION (South Korea)

nuraiym 1 / 1  
Apr 2, 2019   #1

Personal statement for Ewha Womans University

I view competition as the path to success. It was competition that served as motivation to win the government scholarship in Translation studies at Eurasian National University. As a student at the best university in Kazakhstan, I increased my eagerness to investigate and developed my research skills. To stand out from competitive peers, I decided to study additional materials that are not available in our libraries. For that purpose, I translated interesting Russian and English language resources into mother tongue and as a result I became a top student with GPA of 3.78/4.0. My trilingual skills always allow me to introduce something new as unknown scholars and discoveries in my papers, presentations. That is the reason why my professors choose me to participate in annual international conferences such as "Science and Education". Although specialty "Translation Studies" offers important opportunities, honestly speaking, my interest lies in education.

Having worked as an English teacher in the development center "Akzhelken" in the summer of 2018, I became certain that educational field does not only teach students, but also provides an opportunity to self-development for teachers. Once a 4 year-old girl asked me, "Where does milk come from?" Her curiosity elicited my enthusiasm to expand knowledge about other subject areas. To answer that question, I read a scientific-based article. However, it was not easy for me to explain it to the little child, who did not understand scientific language. To make it clear to her, I took a role of an animator for a while and drew the process on the blackboard. Later, being unsatisfied with my explanation I found Korean books for children. I noticed that these books tell the stories about life, family values and nature by answering questions such as "how" and "why". For example, I looked through a book about Korean soybean. Using the combination of watercolor drawings and computer graphics, illustrators depict the story from planting soybeans to making the sauces for the winter with animation. Not knowing Korean language at all, I could comprehend the content of the books. And I found out this Korean method effective in order to not to lose children's thirst for knowledge and to explain complex processes. Since that moment I was interested in exploring the educational system of the country which believes that children are the foundation of national development.

To cultivate well-educated people who are an asset to this country, Korea places greater emphasis on education. Especially what catches my attention in the Korean education system is the strategy as getting the right peŠ¾ple to become teachers. Having been involved in voluntary works at local schools, I witnessed that in Kazakhstan everyone can be a teacher no matter how skillful and passionate they are. At that point, I saw a clear distinction of the education systems of two countries. I started to appreciate the impact of education on country and decided to make a career as Teacher of Education who conducts educational researches. By reading many articles, I wondered how education meets moral development in this technologically advanced country. Eagerness to know more about how Korea prepares teachers and develops their necessary skills influenced my decision to study in South Korea.

The next key reason for choosing South Korea is closely connected with my impression at the international scientific conference. Since I grew up in Kazakh-speaking environment, it was quite challenging to speak in a non-native language in front of Russian professors. On the opening day, a girl from South Korea made a speech in Russian language confidently, despite the fact that she has been learning this language only for 3 years. Inspired by this girl's zeal and courage, on the second day I earned the 1st place by acting as confident TED speakers. Here, I also want to mention her improved presentation skills. I remember during her speech, she mentioned that her country pays attention for making brilliant presentations. And now, I would like to learn to be a professional presenter from South Korea. Personally, I think that good presentation skills are important in order to be respectful as a real teacher.

As I am translator who compares the different versions of the translations, I am very aware that comparative method is the most powerful tool of identifying the best of the best. Comparing all countries and universities thoroughly, I made my considered decision to study Education at Ewha Womans University in South Korea. I strongly believe that my Master's Degree in Education in Korea will enable thousands of Kazakh citizens to acclimate Korean educational culture.

Maria - / 1,099 389  
Apr 2, 2019   #2
In terms of writing technicalities, I suggest looking into reviewing your usage of verbs, tenses, and punctuation. There were instances wherein you had puny mistakes. I won't nitpick, but I do highly suggest that you reread your essay thoroughly and ensure that your fundamental grammar is in line. Doing this will truly highlight your skills as an educator more.

Furthermore, I suggest that you reorder your essay. The structure is quite loose and can be improved. What I suggest is inserting the story about the South Korean girl (second to the last paragraph) into an earlier fraction of the paper to have a more impactful approach on why specifically you have chosen this country. The way that you build your narrative in the essay does not necessarily mean that you have to follow a dedicated sequence of events from the beginning to the end. You could categorize your stories into clusters that are relevant to the essay.

I would also look into substantiating further what educational differences you can observe between your home country and Korea. You had briefly mentioned it in your essay. Discuss more about the specifics of this.
OP nuraiym 1 / 1  
Apr 2, 2019   #3
Thank you. I will fix all shortcomings mentioned by you. But, in general, personal statement is not so weak?

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