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This scholarship could contribute to my expertise in the field, to provide better human resources


DInda Amalia 1 / 1  
Jun 15, 2020   #1
Dear all, please help me improving my writing. it should be shorter, max to 500 characters. this for Australian Award Scholarship.Thank you!

How will this scholarship contribute to the organisation's human resource development needs?



Lombok is the flourishing new destination with its rich culture. Yet, the culture is not the main attraction due to lack of English proficiency of its tourism professional. Upon finishing my study, as I believe the scholarship could help me becoming an expert on implementing practical skill and knowledge that could also contribute to my institution in providing better human resources, I attempt to use my newly gained knowledge to improve STPLC's quality in every aspect as it has one of which is by designing a better English Syllabus. I also intend to create a program that could reach broader English disciples, a program which directly train people that work in tourism sector to improve their foreign language ability, so that STPLC is not only for student of STP Mataram but also can facilitate people all around Lombok.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 10,535 3447  
Jun 15, 2020   #2
You should be considering the failures of the current human resources of your company. Explain what these problems are and how your training will help you improve their skills and abilities. You are trying to cover too much in your response. You simply need to give a problem-solution scenario to the reviewer. He has to gain a sense of why your studies in this field are important to your career and the improvement of the others in your line of work. Proposing how you can achieve this will help. Develop a new response that uses the following as the focal point of the discussion:

I attempt to use my newly gained knowledge to improve STPLC's quality in every aspect as it has one of which is by designing a better English Syllabus. I also intend to create a program that could reach broader English disciples, a program which directly train people that work in tourism sector to improve their foreign language ability, so that STPLC is not only for student of STP Mataram but also can facilitate people all around Lombok.

How will the training help you design a new syllabus? Why is a better English training important? What part of the studies you will be taking address that? What other types of training might you be able to provide? Keep your answer short and direct to the point. You don't need to create an introductory sentence or background. Just a straightforward response. You only have 500 characters so do not waste it on useless babble.


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