I need help in reviewing this essay.. And also need more ideas for what to write.
help please.
As a child, people used to tell me that I was creative, daring, and bold. I always knew there was something different about me from all the other kids in school. My imagination ran wild, as thoughts of stories, poems and essays came out so easily. The Lord blessed me with this mind to create and flourish into the great mind similar to that of the great philosophers of our past. This is why attending the University of Miami would be a true dream come true. Learning about the Arts and Sciences program really opened my mind. To know that I could be as close to home and get my bachelor's in Creative Writing made me ecstatic. I would fight long and hard to be able to step foot inside the halls of the University of Miami.
Receiving the George W. Jenkins scholarship would impact my life tremendously. In order for me to be able to step foot inside such a prestigious school, I would need money. Based on the economy right now, getting the right amount of money to attend such a school would take a while to happen. Not too long ago, my grandmother passed away, leaving my family and I in mourning for quite some time. Along with her death, a number of financial dues were drawing near quickly. My mother had to pay the hospital bills, the funeral payments and the payments to the church in order to have a ceremony in her name. It took a toll out of my mother and also left my family in debt. Being able to receive money to help further my education would be a blessing from God.
In addition to unfortunate mishaps, when I was 11 years old, my world shattered as the bad news running through my ears rang loudly. My parents were separating and no longer getting back together. I couldn't believe this awful information my mother was telling my brother and I as we sat in our rooms, tears strolling down our cheeks. Knowing how I am, my mother prepared herself for the worst. I loved my father and there was no way she would take me away from him. I couldn't fathom the idea of waking up in a different house and not being able to see my father before he went to work. It killed me and at the same time it killed my mother to see me in such pain. I never forgave her for making me leave my dad. My life had never been the same since then. But as I grew up and became mature, I realized it wasn't my mom's fault for tearing the family apart; neither was it my dad's. The love faded and they couldn't remain in a loveless relationship. I finally was able to tell my mother I forgave her and got to get my life back on the track it originally was on. And that was becoming the aspiring writer I ought to be.
help please.
As a child, people used to tell me that I was creative, daring, and bold. I always knew there was something different about me from all the other kids in school. My imagination ran wild, as thoughts of stories, poems and essays came out so easily. The Lord blessed me with this mind to create and flourish into the great mind similar to that of the great philosophers of our past. This is why attending the University of Miami would be a true dream come true. Learning about the Arts and Sciences program really opened my mind. To know that I could be as close to home and get my bachelor's in Creative Writing made me ecstatic. I would fight long and hard to be able to step foot inside the halls of the University of Miami.
Receiving the George W. Jenkins scholarship would impact my life tremendously. In order for me to be able to step foot inside such a prestigious school, I would need money. Based on the economy right now, getting the right amount of money to attend such a school would take a while to happen. Not too long ago, my grandmother passed away, leaving my family and I in mourning for quite some time. Along with her death, a number of financial dues were drawing near quickly. My mother had to pay the hospital bills, the funeral payments and the payments to the church in order to have a ceremony in her name. It took a toll out of my mother and also left my family in debt. Being able to receive money to help further my education would be a blessing from God.
In addition to unfortunate mishaps, when I was 11 years old, my world shattered as the bad news running through my ears rang loudly. My parents were separating and no longer getting back together. I couldn't believe this awful information my mother was telling my brother and I as we sat in our rooms, tears strolling down our cheeks. Knowing how I am, my mother prepared herself for the worst. I loved my father and there was no way she would take me away from him. I couldn't fathom the idea of waking up in a different house and not being able to see my father before he went to work. It killed me and at the same time it killed my mother to see me in such pain. I never forgave her for making me leave my dad. My life had never been the same since then. But as I grew up and became mature, I realized it wasn't my mom's fault for tearing the family apart; neither was it my dad's. The love faded and they couldn't remain in a loveless relationship. I finally was able to tell my mother I forgave her and got to get my life back on the track it originally was on. And that was becoming the aspiring writer I ought to be.
