"the defining moment in my education" -gaining scholarship for meritorious candidates

Task : Please comment below (not exceeding 300 words) explaining why you think that you are a particularly suitable candidate for a scholarship and why you wish to pursue your studies at the University of ABC. Please also indicate which other funding bodies you have applied to for

My statement of purpose is going to highlight my interests and motivation behind achieving my career objectives and pursuing graduate program at University of ABC.

The four year undergraduate program in Electronics engineering formed the basis of my perseverance towards achieving an in-depth knowledge in this field.
My decision to pursue graduate study in the United Kingdom is underscored by my desire to be a part of the graduate program at your institution. University of ABC offers the flexibility needed for such a vast and rapidly changing field. The department web site revealed a very strong faculty involved in extensive research in the area of Electronics engineering. This has strengthened my resolve to study at University of ABC. I am confident that the erudite faculty will make...

I always stood first in class in my early years of education and won prizes in academics and extra-curricular activities like quiz, debate etc. I was class monitor and school captain. I got distinction in 10th Class and first class in 12th standard .I was positioned amongst top 200 in the country in the entrance examination for Engineering, which was taken by 1, 50,000 students.

Furthermore, I enrolled myself in for the Bachelors degree program in Electronics engineering and with strong focus and hard work, I excelled in my graduation with distinction. Considering my excellent record, my college offered me for a job as a lecturer.

Besides studies I have been actively involved in voluntary activities like NSS (National Service scheme). The camp, which aims at welfare of the society helds various activities like cleaning, afforestation, inviting doctors for health camps, creating awareness on social problems, education and cleanliness.

Also I was part of the team, which adopted an orphanage named 'Snehalya'

This team used to regularly interact with the kids and their tutors.
Organize cultural programs and organized money collection drives for them."

The four year undergraduate program in Electronics E ngineering ---If you capitalize Electronics, you must also capitalize 'Engineering'.

My decision to pursue graduate studies in the United Kingdom is underscored by ...

The department web site revealed a very strong faculty involved in extensive research in the area of Electronics E ngineering.

If I can get the opportunity to be a part of ...

For the past eighteen months I have been working as a lecturer in the Electronics and Telecommunication department of XYZ College of engineering.

A cutting edge education program identifying the interests of the students coupled with extremely distinguished faculty and incumbent research facilities has encouraged and...

Receiving this scholarship will be the defining moment in my education, cha nge my whole life and a be powerful push towards fulfilling my dream.

I thereby request that you consider my application...

Hello there. I am thankful to you that u helped me in correcting my mistakes. Actually I am resident of India and want to pursue my higher studies abroad. I am applying for a scholarship and there I need to demonstrate that my work will help in achieving the development objectives of my home country.

Task: Candidates are asked to provide a statement explaining how the proposed study will benefit their home country, and how the skills and qualifications obtained will be applied on their return. References to any existing national shortages or needs would be particularly welcome. (500 words maximum).

can u please give me an idea as how to start and how to conclude the SOp.. my deadline is approaching near,so please do it on priority basis.

Hi Anika, I'm sorry I did not get a chance to look at that other essay before the deadline. let's look at this task:


So, what will be your career? That is the way to answer the question. Does India need more people to choose the career you choose? Maybe India needs someone who will choose the career you are choosing and approach it in a particular way.

What is your way?

This is very simple: Describe what you want to do in the next 5 years, and do some research about this profession in India.

You should show HOW SOMEONE IN YOUR PROFESSION CAN IMPROVE INDIA.

Do you see what I mean? This can be a very beautiful essay. You have to get in touch with your vision for the future.

thanks..for guiding me.. ll come up with a draft soon & show u..
actually i received one LOR from my employer n I am pasting it here for your perusal.plz tell me whether it is okey or some modifications are required. Hoping to get a quick reply from your end.

Letter of Recommendation

It is with great pleasure and enthusiasm that I am writing this letter of recommendation to endorse Ms. XYZ's application to your University. I hope my perspective will be helpful to you to evaluate this promising candidate.

I have known her for the past one and half years. As per my opinion, XYZ is industrious employee, who executed her responsibilities in a consistently...

SEE BELOW

Sincerely:
ABC

I think that first paragraph is ineffective. It is professionally written, but that is all. It does not hit the reader with any intriguing idea or memorable theme.

I have known her for the past one and half years eighteen months.---This is cleaner and less awkward.

As per my opinion, Be confident! State it boldly:
XYZ is industrious employee who executed her responsibilities in a consistent, thorough, and effective manner.

With passage of time, another quality I noticed in her is acceptability I don't think this is the right word. Do you mean accessibility?

hyphen: well-endowed

:-)

Watch out for unnecessary commas. No need for the comma in that sentence.

incorporated the said changes to my essay.----In my opinion, it is better to NEVER use the word said this way. Usually, people only use it that way when they are trying to be fancy or speak in an unnecessarily complex way. That is just my opinion, though!! I never use the word said that way. :-)

Now, it there anything you can add to this that will make it seem like you really are exactly the right person for this scholarship? What would you be looking for if you were the reader? Would it be some mention of ...um... maybe a story! I think a compelling anecdote could show that she is an inspired professional whose potential is still unrealized because of difficult circumstances. A paragraph-long anecdote could help a lot to win the reader over...

:-)

That is why I say the first para was ineffective. It had nothing original... just ordinary letter of rec. stuff.

As of now, I still look at the first paragraph, and I want a key word added to it. I challenge you to use the word "atmosphere" in the last sentence of the first paragraph. If you do not like how it comes out, try the word "creativity."

The point is to add a jewel to the center of the lotus... to add a magic word that fills the reader's mind as she skims the first paragraph.

:-)

Sorry..couldn't get back to my essay,as was neck pecked in mundane chores..anyways.. ll try to write some more realistic stuff and post it here. in the mean time can u help me out in preparing one more essay,which is regarding the Academic distinctions and prizes..the word limit for the same is 300.

I am pretty confused,as how to start it..and how to conclude it..
plz do it urgent,as the deadline is 10th May..

You achievements are very impressive and the first paragraph would benefit from listing them in descending order starting from the most distinctive or important to you. This also means weeding out what is not so important (quality versus quantity) As I have no idea which one that is, I just left it open. Have made corrections and wording suggestions (in red):

Academic distinctions and prizes..the word limit for the same is 300:

I always stood first in class in my early years of education and won prizes in academics and extra-curricular activities like quiz, debate etc. I was class monitor and school captain. I got distinction in 10th Class and first class in 12th standard .I was positioned amongst top 200 in the country in the entrance examination for Engineering, which was taken by 1, 50,000 (do you mean 150,000 or 15,000 or 50,000??) students. Furthermore, I enrolled myself in for the Bachelors degree program in Electronics engineering and with strong focus and hard work, I excelled in my graduation with distinction. Considering my excellent record, my college offered me for a job as a lecturer.

Besides studies I have been actively involved in voluntary activities like NSS (National Service scheme). The camp, which aims at welfare of the society heldsperformed various activities like cleaning, afforestation, inviting doctors for health camps, creating awareness onof social problems, education and cleanliness.

Also I was part of the team which adopted an orphanage named 'Snehalya'
This team used toand interacted regularly with the kids and their tutors. We organized cultural programs and organized money collection drives for them." the orphanage.

Thanks a ton for your suggestions..

...activities like quizzes, debates etc.

Also, I was part of the team which adopted an orphanage named 'Snehalya.'----put a period at the end of this sentence.

This team used to regularly interact with the kids and their tutors, organizing cultural programs and money collection drives for them.

:-)

Thanks Kevin... :)