Hi im new here I was wondering if someone can help me shorten my essay to 250 words and help correct my grammar. Current word count is 337 words.
Does this have potential to be a great scholarship essay?
Thanks
-Steve
A Difficult time in my life
The most difficult time in my life had to have been middle school. Sometimes, in middle school people may seem like your friends yet they aren't. I was one of those kids who drifted from different social groups trying to fit in.
In my 8th period English class, I met this group of kids who I thought were the cool kids. The kids were named Joe, Tyler, and Simon.
By the end of the first marking period my grades had plummeted from B's to C's. My grades dropped dramatically since I hung out with the kids.
One Thursday it began as a typical English class. It was close to the end of the class and seemed like a typical class. But towards the end of class Simon pulled my pants down with my trousers. I was humiliated, all 20 kids in my English class all turned back looked at me half naked and all laughed at me.
How could these guys be my friends and do that? That was the question I asked myself. For the next couple weeks I was the laughing stock at school.
I stopped wandering between different social groups and found my real friends. I am now an A student and beginning to take my first AP class next year.
My perspective on life changed from the events in middle school, I realized that trying to fit into a group of people doesn't work out. You should try to be friends with people who accept you for who you are. I learned that trying to change myself to be friends with people doesn't work.
I joined the robotics entering freshman year of high school and have met peers who share my passion for engineering. I have learned many valuable skills from robotics that I can use to in my future when I go to college to be a mechanical engineer.
With this scholarship I hope to further my education by studying at a college or university and get my bachelors of mechanical engineering.
Does this have potential to be a great scholarship essay?
Thanks
-Steve
Mechanical Engineering Goal
A Difficult time in my life
The most difficult time in my life had to have been middle school. Sometimes, in middle school people may seem like your friends yet they aren't. I was one of those kids who drifted from different social groups trying to fit in.
In my 8th period English class, I met this group of kids who I thought were the cool kids. The kids were named Joe, Tyler, and Simon.
By the end of the first marking period my grades had plummeted from B's to C's. My grades dropped dramatically since I hung out with the kids.
One Thursday it began as a typical English class. It was close to the end of the class and seemed like a typical class. But towards the end of class Simon pulled my pants down with my trousers. I was humiliated, all 20 kids in my English class all turned back looked at me half naked and all laughed at me.
How could these guys be my friends and do that? That was the question I asked myself. For the next couple weeks I was the laughing stock at school.
I stopped wandering between different social groups and found my real friends. I am now an A student and beginning to take my first AP class next year.
My perspective on life changed from the events in middle school, I realized that trying to fit into a group of people doesn't work out. You should try to be friends with people who accept you for who you are. I learned that trying to change myself to be friends with people doesn't work.
I joined the robotics entering freshman year of high school and have met peers who share my passion for engineering. I have learned many valuable skills from robotics that I can use to in my future when I go to college to be a mechanical engineer.
With this scholarship I hope to further my education by studying at a college or university and get my bachelors of mechanical engineering.
