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[TOEFL] 'unforgettable time' - Childhood is the happiest time of people's life


yin 12 / 38  
Nov 6, 2009   #1
Do you agree or disagree with the statement "Childhood is the happiest time of people's life"?

Everyone has their own childhood with tons of remembrance to look back whenever they have difficulties in life. There is a statement that "Childhood is the happiest time of a person's life". Regardless of sadness, failure, and even misery happening in the past, I am sure that childhood is the happiest time of my life. I absolutely agree with the statement above. Here are some reasons.

First, when still a child, we don't have to concern about everything happening in our daily life, such as money, job, success, ambition, or many things like that. All our daily meals are sufficiently supplied by parents and relatives. What we are required is to sleep, eat and study. Time of childhood is the same as time we spend in heaven. The more we grow up, the more we regret and make a wish to come back to the time we were still children who are always happy and have no worry and defense to this tough but interesting life. In my case, I always keep memory of my childhood deep in my heart. I always recall it to console myself whenever I have obstacles in my life because in that remembrance, there are my family, my parents, and my siblings.

Second, being a child we can have a lot of friends with innocent soul and heartfelt affection. When we grow up, we have to go to work. And naturally, we have a lot of colleagues who always in competitive position to struggle for their ambition regardless of safety of other people. At that time, we often think of the days when we were young, we had lots of friends who were very kind - hearted and always eager to help and protect us. No one can deny that it was the happiest time in their lives.

In conclusion, childhood is the time unforgettable in life of each person in the world. Not only because of the life of without worries, concerns can we enjoy, but because of our closed friends, family, relatives do we love as well. And we cannot deny that there is something when the more people grow up, the more they can never possess it again. Do you agree with me? Let's share your points of view.

Pls help me by commenting on it.
Thank you guys so much.
Best regards,
yin

orlando 13 / 94  
Nov 6, 2009   #2
You copied the statement in the opening. You may lose points because of that in the real exam. I think the point of not being allowed to copy anything from the statement is that there is a word limit in the exam and that may help you to reach that limit without using your own words which will not have a good influence on the examiner.

I like the second argument you gave but I think that para is a bit short. You can extend it with an example of an experience you had just to make your point clearer. The easier they get your point the more point you will get.

Do you agree with me? Let's share your points of view.

I do not know why you did this at the end of essay. If it is part of the essay then it does not seem right to me.
Poojasugandhi 18 / 35  
Nov 6, 2009   #3
hi,
your essay is too short for the toefl exam. conclusion should be the summary about the points mentioned in the essay. Thus do not include new points in it.Also do not ask questions or other point of view in conclusion paragraph.
OP yin 12 / 38  
Nov 6, 2009   #4
@orlando: thank you so much. your feedback is very useful to me. To answer your question, in my native language, people often end up an essay with a question. Maybe I do this with a habit. But I wonder whether it's natural or not =.=

@poojasugandhi: Thank you so much. I appreciate your help very much.
Thank you ^__^


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