Discuss the subjects in which you excel or have excelled. To what factors do you attr

Discuss the subjects in which you excel or have excelled. To what factors do you attribute your success?
I am very terrible at writing essays and this is my first scholarship essay, so please assist me.
This is my essay:
Throughout high school, I've excelled in Human Geography, World History, and U.S. History. All of these classes fall in one category which is Social Studies. Ever since I was little I've always asked about the world's history. My answer was Social Studies because it showed me the world before I was born. Another factor to my success in this subject is that it comes very easy. My classmates are constantly complaining that Social Studies is difficult and it's too much to learn. This subject comes so easy since History is like the world is telling His story. Social studies not only brings history but also cultures. For example, my family is from another country, Dominican Republic, and I learned the history and culture of that country. That inspired me to learn more about different countries' history and culture. I love learning new cultures because everyone is different which allowed me to succeed in Social Studies. Lastly, my all my Social Studies teachers were wonderful and went beyond to teach this wonderful subject to attribute to my success. Without their assistance I probably would not enjoy this subject as much as I do now.

Hey Ishamar,

Don't get dejected: writing these scholarship essays is quite an art, which takes a while to master and really refine. You are right, in that this essay is still in its very initial stages of development, but you can still salvage it. So essentially, (sorry for this harshness, but it has to be done) you will probably need to discard almost all of the essay. Now, I really do not know exactly how much of you know or have experience with essays, yet the following is the main advice I can give you:

1. NEVER say that a particular subject is appealing to you because it was "easy." That just makes you falsely appear, as you do not desire, to solely seek to work and pursue classes that you do not have to push yourself to move forward. Similarly, make sure to show that you may pursued a subject, if this is the case, despite any difficulties you had on the way, simply due to your interests.

2. Now, the main change I would make to your essay is something I very much struggled with in the beginning (and somewhat continue to do in my current day): expressing my voice. I'm pretty much completely a science-focused person, making most of my writing sound like I'm writing a scientific paper, which is made to ensure it is bereft of any sort of opinion. This is exactly what you don't want for a college essay; instead, the essay should be more akin to a story, reading like an anecdote that conveys a message. Many times, also, such admissions/scholarship acceptance people appreciate changes: they enjoy hearing your humor or voice in the essay.

So, here's a start (though I do not know whether this truly expresses your opinions or not):

Revised (beginning):Many people, as children, imagined themselves tag-teaming alongside their favorite superheroes, whether it be Superman, Batman, or the Green Goblin. Me? I fought alongside my own version of a hero: Benjamin Franklin. Ever since I was a kid, history, and social studies in general, have been appealing to me, as they were subjects that not only espoused a sense of culture into the world, but also portrayed my relationship to all those that have preceeded me: a viewpoint that I am both as appreciative as a child can be and amazed in a way that I am not sure I can explain.

Hope that helps, and good luck with your essays!

Yeah, I thought my essay was pretty weak. I will fix the tone of the essay. Thank you very much for the tips!