Doctor, biology: educational, career goals, reason for choosing your major

prompt: Please state educational and career goals and the reason for choosing your
major

For as long as I can remember, I have wanted to become a doctor, someone capable of preventing and alleviating pain and suffering in others. As a child, I naively thought that I could just grow up and become a doctor. My eldest brother also wanted to be a doctor so when he went away to college to major in Biology I was thoroughly confused and surprised. I began to wonder what I would major in when I went to my 4-year university. Every break my brother would come home with stories upon stories of all the amazing things he was learning and experiments he was performing. I realized that I wanted to follow in his footsteps and major in Biology. To me, Biology is the perfect major before attending Medical School. After obtaining my bachelor's degree in a field close to medicine, I plan to attend a refined medical program. The knowledge that I will acquire during the next four years will undoubtedly help me throughout medical school.

My goal is to graduate summa cum laude with my bachelor's degree in Biology in the hopes of of attending a renowned medical program to become a Doctor of Medicine. Within my career, I would like to open up my own practice. I would love to call my own shots so I can make my patients experience in my office pleasant. Seeing people cured and healthy in the shortest amount of time possible makes me feel accomplished. I love brightening another person's day. I know that being a doctor with a background in Biology would be the best means to live the life I have always wanted.

ANY help/advice would be greatly appreciated. even for grammatical errors. PLEASE HELP!

Dear Megan,

I believe that you have a very good essay, apart from a few mechanical errors. To make it even better, I would suggest to point out more specific goals within the chosen program (Biology). For example, you could talk about what courses interest you more and what experiments do you want to perform (laboratory work). So, my advice is to look up this information on the Faculty's website, and write a few (3-4) sentences about this in the second paragraph.

Keep up the good work.

For as long as I can remember, I have wanted to become a doctor, someone capable of preventing and alleviating the suffering of others. As a child, I naively thought that I could just grow up and become one . My eldest brother also wanted to become a doctor. Thus , when he went away to college for a major in Biology, I was confused and surprised. I began to wonder what I would major in when I will go to a university (this sentence may be omitted). Every break holiday, my brother would come home with stories of all the amazing things he was learning and experiments he was performing. It was then when I realized that I wanted to follow in his footsteps and major in the same field .

To me, Biology is the perfect major before attending Medical School. After obtaining my Bachelor Degree in a field close to medicine, I plan to attend a competitive medical program, in order to become a Doctor of Medicine . The knowledge that I will acquire during the next four years will undoubtedly help me throughout medical school to be better in this area of expertise. My purpose is to graduate summa cum laude with excellent results. With my Bachelor Degree in Biology I hope of attending a renowned medical program to become a Doctor of Medicine.(you have already stated this twice; insist on specific details of the Bachelor program - see website)

Within As regarding my career, I would like to open up my own practice (medical practice office? - not sure) . I would love to call my own shots so I can make my own decisions and to make my patients benefit from my knowledge . Seeing people cured and healthy in the shortest amount of time possible makes me feel accomplished. I love brightening another person's day. I know that being a doctor with a background in Biology would offer me a chance to live the life I have always wanted.