Doing something positive for my community has been my long term personal goal.

Write a brief statement outlining your personal and academic goals. (100-word maximum)

Below is the essay i wrote on my personal and academic goals..please criticize and point out errors in my essay..i will also appreciate new ideas on what to write ps: am aplyinng for a scholarship

masters degree in electrical and computer engineering

Doing something positive for my community has been my long term personal goal. Upon completion of my education I plan on setting up a non-governmental organization (NGO) that can help underprivileged youths in search of sound education but encountering financial barriers. Especially orphans like me with little or no source of funds.

Academically, I plan on obtaining a masters degree in electrical and computer engineering in a top research university. I look forward to doing research with professors in my field.

I believe completing a degree in McGill University will bring me a step closer in accomplishing my goals.

Ameh, with a 100 word limit, you are expected to at least develop 50 words for each section, academic and personal. For the personal goals, you need to focus on yourself. Why is it important for you to complete your studies in this field? It can't be just about helping your country and setting up an NGO, what will completing this course mean for your personal development? Who do you think you will be after you complete your studies? How will your success in this line of study make you feel about yourself?

When it comes to the academic side, you need to consider something lower than the masters degree first. Your aim is to complete what? A college degree? A masters? You need to clarify that point. What is the main aim for your academic goal? This is where the NGO discussion comes in. You can say something about working towards a degree that will allow you to help your community and set up the NGO. What classes are you keen on taking that will lead towards the completion of your training so that you can achieve your final ambition of setting up the NGO?

Allowing yourself 50 words per response should allow you to have a more threshed out response to the essay. You will just need to get creative in your presentation so that you can accurately respond to the questions, based upon the provided guide questions, within the allowable word number.

Thank you very much for the review @holt.. I will make changes and repost..i would be grateful if u review it again

I noticed some minor grammatical errors in your essay, for example, the word "to" should replace the word "in", in the last sentence.