Where did the dream come from? Studying in the UK Question - Chevening Scholarship

Hello everyone,

I'm a Chevening scholarship applicant and this is my essay for the studying in the UK question and I would deeply appreciate hear some feedback from you guys: Suggestions, Corrections, etc.

Thank you!

Outline why you have selected your chosen three university courses, and explain how this relates to your previous academic or professional experience and your plans for the future.

*Please do not duplicate the information you have entered on the work experience and education section of this form (minimum word count: 50 words, maximum word count: 500 words)

Throughout my student life, Geotechnics, the science of soil behavior, have always been the topic responsible for the sparkle in my eyes. This subject is literally the foundation to all structures and as a passionate for great constructions, its peculiarities made me continuously inquisitive. Dams, Bridges, Tunnels begin to take shape through geotechnical investigations. My curiosity was increasingly fed along the work experience and after participation in the Rio de Janeiro metro line construction, I became particularly interested by studies related to Tunnels and subterranean space.

Brazil's biggest cities suffer too much with intense traffic jams, where people spend hours to go to school or jobs. Unfortunately, we don't have the culture of using public transportation and yet Săo Paulo's metro is one of the most populous of the world. Rio de Janeiro, the most visited touristic city in Brazil, has only 2 metro's lines. In other words, I believe that subterranean space is going to be the most suitable path to develop infrastructure in large urban centers and improvement of infrastructure influences economy and quality of living as well.

From that, it was born a dream and a significant cause. Also, the fact of having witnessed impressive accidents due to geotechnical issues and the deficiency of specialized professionals in this area enhanced the will and necessity of further my education even more. Added to the previous reasons, considering my aspirations, at this moment, the UK offers more than the excellence of the universities. The huge infrastructure plan on going provides the largest school in the open, from where is possible to absorb practical experience through projects such as Crossrail, Thames Tideway Tunnel, High Speed 2, among others. It is absolutely the perfect timing to carry out my master degree on that site. The possibility of breathing that environment gives me great enthusiasm.

To begin developing my plan, I have chosen the 3 universities in UK that covers modules related to tunneling and underground space. As my first option, I selected the University of Birmingham, the one which possesses the best Geotechnical Engineering MSc in the UK and also delivers professionals to big consulting companies. The University of Warwick, as one of the 5 universities of the world with a master degree in Tunneling and Underground Space, was picked out as second option. And finally, as one of the top civil engineering schools, the University of Surrey was chosen, with the Advanced Geotechnical Engineering MSc, due to its enriching syllabus.

My goal is acquiring strong technical knowledge and substantial networking to be able to collaborate effectively with the development of Brazil's and world's infrastructure, through the improvement of underground space usage, where, not so far, will be the main focus of the urban infrastructure expansion.

Amanda, you most likely have already offered the information about the problems in Brazil in either your personal statement or statement of purpose. I have a feeling that this is already rehashed information that the essay is specifically asking you to avoid. Not only that, but you also spent more than half the essay discussing this problem when the focus of your work should have been on the three courses and universities you chose to study in.

You need to revise the essay in order to relate the problems of Brazil and your future plans withe specific university courses, not necessarily the university itself. The reviewer expects to find out how you plan to study certain courses at these places of learning in relation to the professional career plan you have for yourself for your immediate present and future goals.

Right now, your discussion of the university courses does not really tell the reviewer much about the relevance and connection of the course with your future plans. You need to only write 3 paragrahs for this essay. Eahc one dealing specifically with one university and course offering. Mention the subjects you want to study there and why it is important to your goals and future career plans.

Don't make the problems of Brazil and your goals for the future take up the first half of the essay. This work will be more effective once you incorporate those ideas and plans you have with specific courses. The tie-in will show that you have given great thought to your academic studies and its relation to your future plans and career aspirations.

Hi Louisa, Thanks for your feedback. I'm going to rewrite the essay in a way that correlates courses, plans, problems.

I actually haven't mentioned specifically about my intentions on studying tunnels. So eliminating the repetitive content, I feel like I should say it and I would like to keep the UK infrastructure topic as well.

Do you think it's a valid information?

That will definitely work well for your essay Amanda. Don't forget that your goal in expressing your plans in a co-related manner is to show the development of your interest in the connected fields. As you do that, you can offer an insight into the ways and means that you see yourself achieving professional growth in the process.

I am glad that you agree with me regarding your repetitive content. I was almost sure that you did not realize you had done that and just needed to be reminded about the prompt requirements. Try to fill in that part with more information about the university course, specific problem in Brazil that it addresses, and how you plan on using these studies to help solve the problem. Giving an imaginative solution to the problem at this point will help since it will illustrate a deeper understanding of the course usefulness on your part.

Be sure that you develop your connections very well in the essay. Just remain focused on the discussion of the course and the relevance to your career goals and objectives and you should be fine. Check yourself for deviations from the prompt requirements and immediately correct such instances :-)