Please! Help me with this essay. Some people have helped me to correct mistakes, but i still feel that this piece of writing has nothing to make it differentiated from others. I know that is the problem of lacking of ideas but i don't want to make my essay sound like im exxagerating.
Dear Selection Committee
With this letter, I wish to apply for the European Joint Masters in Management and Engineering of Environment and Energy starting in September, 2014. I respectfully submit this letter of application since I believe my academic background and experience are well suited to meet the requirements of the position.
I graduated from high school with a major in Mathematics. I have always been intrigued by natural science subjects, but nothing exceeds my interest in the realm of energy. How come a car can be accelerated by diesel? How can electricity be generated from water? These are the types of questions I always asked myself when I was a little girl. My enthusiasm has been fueled further since I attended the University of Science and Technology of Ha Noi( Hanoi). I loved studying, classical mechanics, fluid mechanics, thermodynamics and energy storage during undergraduate study because they enlightened me on the principles behind fundamental laws that are observed and machines that are engineered. I was admitted to participate in a short course held by the Center of Environment and Community Research, in which I received an honor certificate. Working in a non-government organization gave me a chance to think about how I can devote my energy to community and environment. When I went on a voluntary trip to remote areas in my home village, I saw the difficulties that ethnic minorities have in dealing with the shortage of energy facilities. People there can only use electricity for four hours per day because they don't have sufficient infrastructure to transfer electricity from factories to the areas in need. At that time, I decided to become an applied scientist in the field of renewable energy. My wish is to build a system in my local area that can generate electricity from available sources such as sunlight or wind. I am not the only person to come up with this idea, but it needs a lot of qualified and enthusiastic people to carry out such big project. I want to be a part of the team that implements this important project. In order to do that, I need to acquire as much knowledge as possible, and I want to do it in another country.
When I was a student at high school, I studied English so that I could, hopefully, study in Europe. My family, although realizing the importance of education, can not afford to send me to Europe for two years to continue my education. The only way is I have to find a financial assistance to continue my education. Therefore, I have always studied hard in school. I was in the top 10% of my high school class and received a full scholarship to the university. At my university, I have been being in the top 10% of university and standing at the 2nd place in my class. Beside the academic background, I have also placed myself in various positions, namely a teaching assistant at the University for Professor Tran Ngoc Tiem in the subject Thermodynamics, an English teaching assistant at American Academy English center, and a private teacher of English, Chemistry and Physics. I am currently participating in an academic project on Synthesis of nano-materials for polluted water treatment, so that I can expand my knowledge in nano-materials and improve my team-work skills. Working in academic environments with different kinds of people has improved my ability in communication and autonomous thinking. I adapt well to various work situations. I also have an interest in learning languages. I speak well my mother tongue, I consider myself as a good user of English, and I am a beginner in French and Chinese.
An academically rigorous and intellectually challenging program in college, and my work experience thereafter, has provided me with ample knowledge, skill and confidence to compete globally. It is every engineer's dream to observe how his or her work can change people's lives. This can only be accomplished through the expansion of one's knowledge through higher education. I wish to progress and participate in constructing and creating newer and smarter ideas to solve primary issues concerning my field. I consider the ME3 program as a platform to enable me to acquire the knowledge to achieve my career goals. Therefore, I wish to apply for admission to your program and am confident I will succeed if given the opportunity.
Dear Selection Committee
With this letter, I wish to apply for the European Joint Masters in Management and Engineering of Environment and Energy starting in September, 2014. I respectfully submit this letter of application since I believe my academic background and experience are well suited to meet the requirements of the position.
I graduated from high school with a major in Mathematics. I have always been intrigued by natural science subjects, but nothing exceeds my interest in the realm of energy. How come a car can be accelerated by diesel? How can electricity be generated from water? These are the types of questions I always asked myself when I was a little girl. My enthusiasm has been fueled further since I attended the University of Science and Technology of Ha Noi( Hanoi). I loved studying, classical mechanics, fluid mechanics, thermodynamics and energy storage during undergraduate study because they enlightened me on the principles behind fundamental laws that are observed and machines that are engineered. I was admitted to participate in a short course held by the Center of Environment and Community Research, in which I received an honor certificate. Working in a non-government organization gave me a chance to think about how I can devote my energy to community and environment. When I went on a voluntary trip to remote areas in my home village, I saw the difficulties that ethnic minorities have in dealing with the shortage of energy facilities. People there can only use electricity for four hours per day because they don't have sufficient infrastructure to transfer electricity from factories to the areas in need. At that time, I decided to become an applied scientist in the field of renewable energy. My wish is to build a system in my local area that can generate electricity from available sources such as sunlight or wind. I am not the only person to come up with this idea, but it needs a lot of qualified and enthusiastic people to carry out such big project. I want to be a part of the team that implements this important project. In order to do that, I need to acquire as much knowledge as possible, and I want to do it in another country.
When I was a student at high school, I studied English so that I could, hopefully, study in Europe. My family, although realizing the importance of education, can not afford to send me to Europe for two years to continue my education. The only way is I have to find a financial assistance to continue my education. Therefore, I have always studied hard in school. I was in the top 10% of my high school class and received a full scholarship to the university. At my university, I have been being in the top 10% of university and standing at the 2nd place in my class. Beside the academic background, I have also placed myself in various positions, namely a teaching assistant at the University for Professor Tran Ngoc Tiem in the subject Thermodynamics, an English teaching assistant at American Academy English center, and a private teacher of English, Chemistry and Physics. I am currently participating in an academic project on Synthesis of nano-materials for polluted water treatment, so that I can expand my knowledge in nano-materials and improve my team-work skills. Working in academic environments with different kinds of people has improved my ability in communication and autonomous thinking. I adapt well to various work situations. I also have an interest in learning languages. I speak well my mother tongue, I consider myself as a good user of English, and I am a beginner in French and Chinese.
An academically rigorous and intellectually challenging program in college, and my work experience thereafter, has provided me with ample knowledge, skill and confidence to compete globally. It is every engineer's dream to observe how his or her work can change people's lives. This can only be accomplished through the expansion of one's knowledge through higher education. I wish to progress and participate in constructing and creating newer and smarter ideas to solve primary issues concerning my field. I consider the ME3 program as a platform to enable me to acquire the knowledge to achieve my career goals. Therefore, I wish to apply for admission to your program and am confident I will succeed if given the opportunity.