They inspired me to work my hardest
My family has affected the way I look at life. I lived my entire life in Monterey Park with my parents and my older brother. Being the younger child profoundly difficult. I was expected to be as orderly as my older brother, despite our many differences. This made me extremely jealous of him as I knew I would never be comparable to him. Yet, that in itself taught me over time how to ignore others and focus on myself as it is pointless to compare myself to others. But I was still a child with child-like tendencies, so over time, I grew more and more envious of my older brother as he was well-liked and studious. Consequently, my jealousy would lead to me starting fights with him. These fights would happen every week, and it eventually went to the point where a fight would happen every single day. Eventually, the fights stopped, but our relationship dwindled, and now we do not interact as often. However, there is a bright side to this. The constant fighting taught me to stop comparing myself to others. Through the everlasting jealousy, I understood how pointless it was to always be comparing myself to others as I am my own person. This, in turn, is why instead of comparing myself to my peers, I learn from them how to better myself. Yet, it was not the fighting that influenced a majority of the person I am today; it was my parents.
Around the 1960s, both my parents were born in the country of Vietnam. The two of my parents were born as healthy, strong babies. However, they were not given the chance to live out ordinary lives; they both became deaf through unfortunate circumstances. My father got into a horrific accident where his head hit a hard surface, which caused his eardrums to not function properly. While my mother, on the other hand, contracted an illness, which led to her becoming deaf as there was no cure in Vietnam. Throughout their entire childhood, it was extremely difficult for my parents to communicate with their families as my family did not learn sign language, but they tried their hardest. In addition to their disabilities, both of my parents' families were forced to evacuate Vietnam to the United States after the communist's victory in the Vietnam War. The situation they were in caused them to leave their home country to a foreign land with practically nothing on a boat.
At first, their experiences in the United States were troublesome as they both had to adapt to a new environment. They did not know the culture surrounding the United States and they were homesick; adapting was to the United States hard for them. However, when they adapted, moving to the United States became a highly valuable experience for them. They were able to learn American Sign Language, which gave them the ability to communicate with their families and start working. Despite all this, it was still extremely strenuous for them to find a job, due to the amount of discrimination towards the deaf community. They got fired from multiple lines of work because society saw deaf people as inferior to regular people in society. Surprisingly though, my parents never gave up on finding a job. Even throughout my entire life have I never seen them give up. I would see them move from job to job and they would complain, but one thing they never did was give up. When they see me struggling in academics or a sport, they would allow me to cry and complain, but when they saw me giving up, they would assist me in getting better, and push me to strive for greatness.
Even though they had a rough start and they went through an awful amount of discrimination, their patience is what got them to where they are today as they could only go up from they started. Growing up, I always thought I lived out a terrible life, but through my parents, I finally understood that everyone goes through predicaments. But it is not what your situation is, it is about how you work through the situation which truly sets you apart. I will always respect my parents for the number of sacrifices they made. They worked their hardest and used their talents and resources provided to them to their fullest. They inspired me to work my hardest no matter what situation I am in, no matter the setbacks I am given, and no matter how many people do not believe in me.Hi! Is this for the bibliographical essay? I would try to talk about yourself more, I think throughout your essay you focused a lot more on your parents or your brother instead of you. They want to know more about you, how did living in your brother's shadows affect you? Did it made you want to work harder? Did it motivate you? Same goes for your parents too, I would try to incorporate their immigrant stories but shift the focus on how it inspired you and your personal aspirations.
Good luck, I'm applying too!!
Holt Educational Consultant - / 14,835 
4783 Do not focus on the individual life stories in your presentation. The reviewer doesn't care for that. However, he does care about how your parents and siblings have affected your outlook or helped you develop as a potential college student based on 3 representations:
- Personal and emotional development
- Intellectual and social development
- A specific point of view about life that shows a maturity in your way of thinking
Never forget the target, to show the reviewer that your family has helped you become a mature, responsible, and socially aware person. Once you accomplish that, the essay should work to your benefit as an applicant.
While the story of your parents and siblings are lovely to read, it doesn't add to the image of the reviewer of you as a person, sibling, and student. Those are the aspects of your family's influence that will be of the most interest to him and, will also be the most useful information that may convince him that you are ready to separate from your family ties and start life as an independent, mature, and responsible college student.
