Fight against diseases. 2017 KGSP Graduate Program - Letter of Self-Introduction

Hello everyone~ I will be applying for the 2017 Korean Government Scholarship Program for Graduate Degree.

My english is not that good and it's my first time doing something like this so I was wondering if you could help me with it. I've already written it so I hope you can give me some suggestions about it or if there are any corrections to do.

Thank you in advance!

LETTER OF SELF - INTRODUCTION

I had a life experience when I was just a little girl where pneumonia led me to be hospitalized in the clinic. Actually, what I remember the most about it, besides the medication and the great support my family gave me, it is how my doctor was always with me, encouraging me at every moment, giving me his support. Those days when I felt devastated and with a lot of pain all over my body, he was always there giving me the assurance that everything would turn out well. I can proudly say that he was the one who transmitted me that desire to help and serve others. At that moment I realized that I also wanted to dedicate myself to that, to be able to help others not only with my knowledge but also being there for them. The career that allowed me to achieve all this was medicine, which keeps me close to people at all times. There is no greater reward in the world than being able to make someone smile when it is needed and make them feel better.

Once I started college, I tried my best to overcome all the obstacles that were presented to me. It was a new world for me as for the rest of my colleagues, we all had our ups and downs but perseverance led me to continue advancing every day and beyond this the passion and determination to achieve my goals no matter what it takes. Gradually with a lot of effort, dedication and love for what I do I was considered as an excellent student, my professors' advice and support were the engine that pushed me to move forward and led me to pursue my dream more intensely. During the process, I saw several of my colleagues fall, abandoning or repeating courses, but still I remained firm. Perhaps the first years were very hard but the gratification came during my clinical rotations when I had the opportunity to go to various hospitals across the city and interact directly with patients. I still remember the first time someone told me "thank you, doctor", that day was the best day of my life and helped me realized that this path was the one for me. The last year of my career, the internship, was the greatest year ever. I was able to put into practice everything I learned in 6 years of study, transforming all the knowledge gained into acts that helped improve the health of others. While I was doing my Pediatrics rotation, I had the opportunity to participate in a Medical Genetics conference that changed my life completely. I marveled at all those knowledge I did not know, all those rare diseases that were present in our day to day and no one even knew they could exist. Little by little I was attracted to that world, I felt like a voice was calling me, pointing out a new path for me. I have always been a very curious person and that helped me to contact other doctors closer to that branch, they told me that my curiosity and desire to learn were qualities that were no longer seen daily in an intern, which prompted me to follow. After a while, I realized that I could focus on Medical Genetics as a future specialty because it would not only satisfy my desire to discover and learn new things but also, my desire to help others who suffer from rare diseases.

Thanks to my good performance during my undergraduate and internship years, I managed to place myself within the upper third of the university, which also opened the doors to the work in which I am currently performing. Before graduating, I needed help developing a research protocol for one of my courses and that was when I contacted a professor I have known for a long time. He kindly guided me during the process and even congratulated me for the good quality of my work. After completing the protocol, he told me about the research center he had at his command and that he would be glad if I joined him. I got recruited in his research center as a sub-investigator in clinical trials which helps me to develop my research skills also needed in the field I want to work in, Medical Genetics.

My motivation to apply to this program is generated by my desire to continue my studies having a masters degree in the field of my interest. Some time ago I had the opportunity to review the case of a mother whose children suffered from a rare disease, which restricted their life to a few years. Unfortunately in our country we do not have the necessary technology nor the experienced professional since Genetics is not a very studied field. The impotence of being there and not being able to do anything was something that marked my life, at that time Genetics went from being a simple hobby to a vocation. That patient aroused in me that desire of wanting to help, to do something more, the desire to act and find some solution. With the help of this program I know that I can become a professional who will have the necessary skills and abilities to face those problems, helping people who need it and giving them better care with more information about their condition. Korea is known as one of the countries with the best technology and scientific advances in Asia, whose education system is of very high quality. I am sure that combining all the new knowledge that I can acquire and my desire to learn and improve, I will be able to fulfill all my goals and continue to help more people.

Carolina, you need to balance the content of your essay in order to create a more relevant presentation of your responses to the reviewer. Most specially, you need to better develop the reasons that you have for wanting to pursue master studies in Korea. I have some ideas as to how you can better accomplish this task, if you will be open to my suggestions.

You should provide the first half of the paper to discuss the following:
1. Family background
2. Early interest in medicine
3. college education
4. Relevant Work experience

Then present a transition sentence that discusses the main problem in your line of medical treatment that you feel requires additional training and theoretical know how on your part. Explain that these are the reasons that you decided to pursue masters studies in Korea.

The next half of the essay should show evidence of your knowledge of the field of medical science in Korea. The discussion you present in that paragraph will show the reasons why you decided to pursue higher studies in the country. Look at the current research of treatment based on your medical field as undertaken in Korea. Explain how you want to be a part of this limited opportunity to be trained by experts in a field using technology or treatments not available in other parts of the world yet.

By treating your essay in this manner, you will be able to create a better discussion that clearly relates your academic background with your interest in studying in Korea. It will be a thorough approach that will show the reviewer that you are not just interested in the social life of Korea or changing your country of residence for a few years, but that you actually have a specific, useful, and world altering purpose for wishing to study in Korea.