'Because this is my first life' - KGSP-Master in Data Science application

Hi I am applying for KGSP scholarship for master program
please help me with the

Self-Introduction essay

o Motivations with which you apply for this program
o Your education and work experience in relation to the KGSP
o Reason for studying in Korea
o Any other aspects of your background and interests which may help us evaluate your aptitude and passion for graduate study or research.

'Because this is my first life', this is the name of my favorite Korean drama and also the life quote I have always been adhering to. Because this is my first and only life, I promise to live my life to the fullest, to try exploring new things and challenge myself to the utmost. My parents could not access to high education due to economic constraints, which brings them troublesomeness in their early lives. For this reason, it has been growing awareness in me to value education on the top priority and employ education I receive helping those in need and contribute to social development. Since secondary school, I was very keen on science subjects especially Mathematics. Due to my strong passion in Math, I put more effort in studying and practicing it which led me to win several awards from Mathematics competition. When I graduated high school, all my hard work was paid off because I could achieve the highest score for high school examination in the capital resulted in receiving a scholarship from government to do Bachelor of IT.

I never take the award I received for granted but to remind me that I should work harder for assuring the giver and for my own benefits. During my college life, I tried very hard to improve myself in every aspects not only my major. I always put myself in a challenge by applying for programs and scholarships, joining the competitions that I believe will help strengthening my soft and hard skills. The exchange program in Japan called 'Jenesys' is the first program that opens up my eyes. From that program, I have surprisingly realized that there are boundless things waited to be learned by me out there. Consequently, my eager to learn has been rose up, I decided to attend the Honda Y-E-S contest and finally won the award. It is the contest that allows me as a young engineer presenting about my solution for sustainable development by adopting eco-technology. Later on, I was nominated to be a representative from Lao awardees to attend Honda Y-E-S forum in Tokyo for two times. From the experience of organizing the forum, It helped me to become more knowledgeable in science and engineering fields involved with environment and how to adopt my study field to help developing country in a sustainable way. In the forum, I got a chance to discuss with many Japanese professors which really widen my perspective towards my field and encourage me to further higher study at the same time. Besides, I also gained skills in event organizing and communication since I had to present my work to the international stage and cooperate with multiracial counterparts from Japan and ASEAN countries for running the forum.

My skills were developed to the max when I got a chance to do training course on ICT at Chonbuk National University under GKS program. During the program, I got to work on various projects with many Korean professors along with assisting from Korean mentors related to Artificial Intelligence, Embedded System, Computer Network and so on, which really deepen my knowledge on the major. The training environment is intense and rush since each project was set on a very tight schedule. However, I believe that It really helped me fasten my skills development and work well under pressure in a professional way. The program also provided field trips that allows me to explore Korean advanced technology, fascinating culture and great food together with my ASEAN friends during life in Korea. One of the impressive trip is visiting Samsung Innovation Museum in Suwon which I was fascinated by its advanced innovation.

Currently, I have been joining an unofficial organization call 'Lao Young Developers' Association' which initiates by Korean developer. My part of this organization is being teacher assistant and translator in a game programming course. My aim for joining this project is to maintain and improve my own skills in both academic and non-academic aspects, getting used to work with Korean developer and encompass Lao youths who passionate on game to spend time effectively, encourage them to pursue their dream, as well as, contribute to Lao IT field in the future.

When I was in college, I attended several seminars regarding to Data Science both inside and outside college due to my interest and realized that there is still a lack of implementation of this field in my country. However, I see the necessity to apply this powerful field to the development to ensure it is going on the right path. I have developed my own approach by taking several data science online courses such as 'Machine Learning' course by Andrew Ng, and 'Applied data science with Python'. However, I think this would not be enough for me to be expert in this field. Therefore, I decided to apply for KGSP scholarship. From the training course experience in Korea, It really encourages me to pursue my post study there. The program did give me the concept of Korean education and culture. I personally keen on the studying environment there since there are sufficient facilities to support my study with a very great help and guideline from professors. Receiving this scholarship to study in the most innovative economies country that takes education very serious especially in engineering and science field will allow me to broaden my knowledge both theoretically and practically through first-hand experience. I will have a chance to learn and experience insightful and up-to-dated innovative technology used in data science field in Korea together with interacting with Korean researchers and mentors that will help widening my perspective of the field and introduce me to new opportunities that will accelerate my approach in achieving the goal of becoming a qualified data scientist and contribute back to society.

Hi,

found following grammar mistakes,

... has been rose rosed/rosing up

... intense and rush rushes since

... trips that allows allowme to explore

... impressive trip trips is visiting ...

Good luck for your scholarship

Nalinh, this is your only chance to fully introduce yourself to the reviewer. There will not be a formal interview so do not take shortcuts in introducing yourself to the reader. Be more informative than you are at the moment because all I can read are vague references to certain information instead of actual information. When you introduce your family, work on establishing the type of relationship that you have with your parents. Start at the beginning. Introduce each parent in terms of his occupation and the type of influence that this parent had on you. Highlight how each parent helped to build your character and influence your point of view about life. Don't say that you got your point of view about life from a Koreanovela, that is something that you should have developed through the influence of your parents and your own life experiences.

Since this is already a masters degree program that you are applying to, it would be better if you focus your discussion on your college accomplishments with a particular focus on your academic recognition, accomplishment, and internships that may have a relevance towards your application. Make sure you highlight your abilities in research because the prompt specifically asks you to do that. Don't leave that for the last part because that is an important element for your application consideration.

Your reference to how you have experience in Korean education and its relevance to your interest in this program works to your benefit. Now, let me ask you, have you previously passed the TOPIK exam? Do you still have your certification? If you have done so then you need to call the attention of the reviewer to that. Passing the TOPIK previously places you on the fast track for admission so you should take advantage of it if you already have it.

As for your exchange program in Japan, shorten that presentation or totally skip it. The time you previously spent as a student in Korea should be the focal point of the "in relation to the KGSP program" aspect of the discussion. This portion totally strengthens the reason and motivation for your desire to study in that country so it should be the most important and longest presentation in the essay.

@senuthilini
Thank you so much for your correcting :)

@Holt
Thank you so much for your suggestion!
Before continuing with my essay improvement, I would like to inform you in some points
1.Since this year prompt is a bit different from last year as it no longer ask about 'Your course of life, your view of life, study background, your hopes & wishes, etc'. Instead, it asks about 'Any other aspects of your background and interests which may help us evaluate your aptitude and passion for graduate study or research'. That is why I didn't talk much about my family background but what I did is trying to show the viewer about my passion and my dedication for study which I believe would help the viewer see my aptitude for graduate study.

2.Unfortunately, I don't have TOPIK certificate. I did take Korean Language course while I was doing training there. But my Korean skill is not that high enough to take the test.

3.I agree with you that I should skip the experience in Japan part and try to elaborate more on the experience in Korea as to answer the prompt. However, I still want to show the viewer about my achievement and professional experience which really developed my skills required for both graduate study and my desired major. I am a bit lost in what to do in this part . Should I really skip the Japan part?

I will try to improve my essay based on your suggestions, looking for what to seeing your feedback again.