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"Does My Generation Have a Role in America's Future?"



beapie 1 / -  
Oct 22, 2010   #1
"Does My Generation Have a Role in America's Future?"

Before I begin, I would like to state that as of right now; we are America's near future. My grandfather's generation is slowly fading away, having less and less to do with the governing of the United States. They have done their job, and done it well. Now, my father's generation is taking over, and as the innumerable caravan trudges forward, we wait for our turn. My generation will determine the next generation and the next generation will influence the following. Whether you notice it or not, each generation creates and shapes the next.

this is my introduction, i want to know how I'm doing so far; also, this is to be recorded, so its kind or like a speech.

jam3s11 3 / 16  
Oct 24, 2010   #2
I like your intro. It has a nice way of flowing nicely when you describe one generation to the next.

Before I begin, I would like to state that as of right now; we are America's near future

I think you need a colon after "I would like to state this as of right now" and maybe eliminate near.

Before I begin, I would like to state that as of right now: We are America's future.

Other than that i there really isn't much to comment on. I think your fist sentence will work great for a speech. Try to write the rest of the speech/essay, that's really the only way you'll get some truly meaningful feedback.

Good Luck
Shane Valesquez 2 / 2  
Oct 24, 2010   #3
Nice introduction. If it's a speech, it got to be more convincing, try improving on your sentences and adding some rhetorical questions. Maybe an anecdote and you will be on your way!

Good luck


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