GKS statement of purpose 2019 future plan for Korean studies

Please help me to improve my future plan essay

Future plan in Korea or another country after study in Korea

I believe that professionalism comes with experience and I can cooperate my two degrees (Bachelor's and Master's) in the future.
Future plan 1. After acquiring a master's degree in Korean studies I hope to secure a 2-3 year job as an assistant/teacher in organizations such as Korean cultural Center which works with KOICA in my country or around the world. It is helps me to get practical experience and become a professional in Korean studies.

Future plan 2. After that I want to get a job in "СпасиBeaucoup" company. This is young but rising language company in Kazakhstan which teaches and interpret 16 languages (Korean too) and organizes the cultural and educational trips around the world. I believe I'm a suitable candidate who will have full package in education and experience and can introduce the Korean culture and language for students. I already have experience in organizing events and trips. Furthermore, like this I can assist to Korean culture's rising popularity and develop people's interest to Korean culture.

Yura, you are too spend 2 years of your professional life after graduation working in Korea as payback for the scholarship so you have to apply your post study plans with that requirement. Try to have more definitive plans for your professional career during this time. The presentation you are making lacks in impressiveness. You are not wowing the reviewer with your ambition and drive to succeed in a foreign land. Show more interest in your professional career by developing a longer and more planned discussion of your during the 2 years that you will be honing your skills in the Korean professional setting.

Don't tell the reviewer what you want to happen use terms that do not show uncertainty in your statements. Say that you will work at the Kazhakstan company. When you say "want" that means you may or may not pursue that angle. The reviewer needs a clear post study career path from you. Give it to him. Expand the discussion by saying you will work there before launching your own company. Impress the reviewer as best as you can work your plans. That's the name of the game.