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Global UGRAD - Why you? I have a passion



judantoatp 2 / 3  
Dec 30, 2017   #1
Greetings everyone, I'm kinda new into essay writing stuff, do you guys mind to give me a supportive comments towards my essay? Thank you in advance :)

Why would you be a great participant in the Global UGRAD Program?

striving for the biggest dream of mine



Biology and chemistry has became my favorite subject during my high school years among all of the subjects, these subjects really made me interested to study more about it, hence I am choosing Biology as my major in college. During my college life I am studying and learning so many things in detailed aspects of biology and chemistry. I am really sure that I had a passion on my field of study now, it is proven with my current GPA which is 3.40.

During my third semester I got Microbiology course which I have to take and I really felt that I've falling in love with that course for sure! The practical class of this course is really different among all of the course I've took that time because it requires specialized comprehension, skill and technique to undergo the practical work. These interests lead me to registering myself in the Microbiology Assistant open recruitment which is held during my early fourth semester and fortunately I was accepted as one of the Microbiology Assistant. Microbiology became my detailed interests in Biology since then.

Upon becaming the Microbiology Assistant, my schedule is busier than before because not only I have to attend my own lecture and practical class schedule as well as doing the lecture task and practical report, I also have to teach groups of students on their practical class, examining their practical report, managing schedule for the students practical class etc. These activities allow me to became a person who is capable to work in a team because the assistant team itself is consisted of 15 person together and to fulfill our responsibilities a good teamwork is needed. I also still contribute my dedication to my students activity which is Biology English Society and Bahana Putra Soedirman Marching Band unit during these busy times. These activity has lead me to became a well-organized person who like everything is occurred in accordance to a well-planned ideas and discussion because I have to manage my time well to makes all of my schedule done properly, therefore I am a systematical person too who likes to organize what I have to do on each day, its quite helpful for my college life as a Biology student which have so much academic things to do. But even I like everything is went according to plan I am quite an adaptable person with any inevitable change if something don't happen well.

Studying abroad especially in USA is one of my life goals because they are already known for their quality of education all over the world and as a science student, I was intrigued to broaden and sharpen my knowledge in my field of study, being a scientist in Microbiology field is one of my biggest dream, to pursue this dream one of my effort to getting closer to my dream is undergo an undergraduate research in Microbiology field. I am pretty sure that my country needs many best quality youth which is graduated from the best foreign country campus for its development and shaping the bright future for the country itself and I also believe that foreign country campus is the best place to forge a well educated youth because they provide a lot of proper facillities for students development. I believe that every human being in this world have their own right to possess a big dream within their life and here I am pursuing and striving for the biggest dream of mine and shaping myself to be the future leader and well educated youth to serve my country, Indonesia.

Holt  Educational Consultant - / 15385  
Dec 30, 2017   #2
Arie, your essay has the potential to become a very interesting and memorable essay if you focus your response as to why you would make for a good UGrad participant on 2 key information from this draft version. The first is the introduction of your interest in Microbiology. Please expand on how your interest in this course and the lessons you have learned seem to be limited in your country as the reason as to why you are pursuing a semester abroad. Replace the current information you have in reference to this particular discussion. Instead, explain that you wish to participate in a transfer of knowledge by returning to your country armed by the lessons you learned in the USA for information dissemination among your peers in the field. Second, highlight your ability to work with a team. I suggest that you specifically use the following portion of your current essay:

a person who is capable to work in a team

The team work aspect is a very important part of your presentation because, as a UGrad scholar, you will be working with other program participants and peers at your university. By proving that you are an excellent team member and team leader by sharing relevant information that represents these aspects, you will be able to imply additional important reasons as to why you will make for a great UGrad participant.
OP judantoatp 2 / 3  
Dec 30, 2017   #3
@Holt
Thank you so much for your kind response, I will look forward to revise it as soon as possible :)


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