My goal is to be a serial entrepreneur, my interests lie in information technology and agriculture

Kindly provide some feedback on my post-study career plan essay. Thanks!

Chevening Scholarship - Post-study career plan essay

My career goal is to be a serial entrepreneur and my interests lie in information technology and agriculture.

The advancement in technology is birthing solutions to everyday problems around the world and agriculture is perhaps even more important as food security is crucial to the sustenance of life.

At the moment, I am actively pursuing my interest in IT. I have co-founded a company focused on this area. Upon returning to Nigeria, I will be resuming a more active role (while I am away, my role will be limited due to study constraints). Currently, we are in the process of completing a solution we believe can provide economic opportunities for artisans in Nigeria. My master's study which is primarily focused on IT and business management will enable me to transition the knowledge acquired from my study into practice and grow the business.

Within the next 5 years, I plan to start the agriculture business and I will also use my knowledge of IT to create solutions that can optimise the agricultural value chain in Nigeria, especially in logistics.

I am particularly pleased by the positive and forward-looking relations between the United Kingdom and Nigeria. Earlier in the year, the president of Nigeria visited the United Kingdom government where Theresa May, the UK Prime Minister, stressed the need for improved intra-commonwealth economic relations. More recently, she was on a 3-day visit to Africa with Nigeria being one of her destinations. One of the highlights of her visit was the inclusion of companies' executives in her entourage, with private and public representatives of the UK power, water, transportation sectors amongst others present. These are areas which are of importance to my career plan. For perspective, power has proven to be a strong inhibitor to IT entrepreneurship and business in general as Nigerian businesses struggle with the lack of adequate power supply in the country, while water, transportation and logistics are challenges faced by agriculture in the country. The Private Infrastructure Development Group, which is a conglomerate of key UK and other international agencies was also present for the visit. I believe this visit emphasised the UK's commitment to contribute to the economic growth of Nigeria.

All of these are indicators of the increased potential for business partnerships between UK and Nigeria as companies look to strengthen and enter into new markets.

In the longer term, I plan to build other businesses with a core focus on providing solutions to Nigeria's and Africa's everyday problems. While the UK's relations benefits my country as a whole, a Chevening scholarship empowers me with the knowledge and experience to be a catalyst of progress in Nigeria.

Babatunde, while you did justify the existing programs of the UK in Nigeria, you did not explain how your masters course and line of work will align itself with an existing program of the UK in your country. More importantly, you failed to present a specific UK agency existing in Nigeria that your company can collaborate with in order to help promote both the Nigerian and UK interest in the country.

Your essay is nothing but word fillers at this point that does not serve the purpose of the post study career plan as required by the scholarship. The focus on PM Theresa May's visit does not really define anything for you career wise. Had you indicated that one of the projects that she visited had a direct relation to your occupation, and that this is a UK sponsored project that your company can come aboard on to support, then the mention of her visit and places she went to would be more relevant to your response.

The reviewer is not looking for the evidence of UK commitment to helping Nigeria. He is looking at the cooperative or collaborative effort between the two countries that will allow you to become a conduit between the two, a Nigerian professional who understands what the UK needs to do in order to help improve the status of Nigeria and its relationship with the UK. The important part of your essay is the UK-Nigeria relationship with regards to government or privately sponsored projects where your masters degree knowledge will be used.