Graduate Statement; further information relevant for assessing your suitability for the course

Dear Friends,
Please give me your comments and feedback.

Please include any further information that may be relevant for assessing your suitability for the course including: -
·a brief statement outlining your motivation for this course
·your career aspirations
·any plans you may have immediately after completing the course

course by Cranfield - personal statement

I graduated in 2008, specializing in Nautical Science Subject. After two years sea service, I pursued Advanced Diploma in Logistics and Multi-Modal transport from ICS,UK in 2012 and I passed professional qualifying exams in 2017. I came to realize how shipping is commercially indispensable topic in international trade, and its links to global supply chains. My interest started to expand from transport logistics to procurement, outsourcing, warehouse role in modern supply chain context and the uprising e-commerce, when I started working as a branch manager for Thailand based logistics company.

The modules in the course by Cranfield covers a very wide range of supply chain aspects. And it is very impressiveThe flow of information is a breadth of supply chain and I find the elective modules like Social Network Analysis in Supply Chain Context very interesting as understanding relationship assessment against social/cultural background can open up many bottle-necks in the supply chain pipeline. Planning and Resourcing for Road Freight Transport reflects what I am currently doing, as I am mainly responsible for border transport from China, Thailand and from other oversea countries by means of two legs of transport.

While studying for Advanced Diploma, I had been entrepreneuring GPS based fleet management solutions for a variety of business verticals. I manage to build a very good network from truck-owning logistics companies. In my current job as a branch manager for logistics services( sea/land/air), I have been expanding my network. My goal is to stand as an recognized person in logistics and supply chain field in my country as a consultant. For a long term I want to found a school to equip with logistics and supply chain industry with international knowledge. Getting a chance to be a member of three world famous institutions: CIPS, CILT and ELA after completion of the course plus site-visits in Europe and Practical focused are mainly attractive to me, because my long term goal can be achieved in a short time with those degrees.

After completion of course, I intend to grow my current business in logistics services. So far, I have not many customers from MNCs, I will try to get some market share. Our current service mainly focus on border and I will try to gain name in ocean freight. I will be also preparing for chartering opportunities as bulk-cargo export for beans will be gaining momentum when i completed my course.In free time, I will apply for a part-time teacher in supply chain institutions and universities.

I think the paragraph can be wriiten as follows

... very interesting as the deep understanding (...) social/cultural background which can open up ...

Ganesh, your motivation for this line of study is not very clear in the first few paragraphs of the essay. That is something that should be reflected in the opening statement. The motivating factor is usually related to your desire to improve your skills or respond to some particular problem that faces your professional career. For example, a motivating factor you can discuss can be related to the delivery and scheduling problems that your line of work faces. Discuss this problem and how it adversely affects the company you work for. Hence your desire to receive more training in this field. What you did was, you just mentioned the position you currently have in the office and what the job description is. It lacks the applicability of the course of study with your previous or current career. Your ambitions are very clear in the essay so you don't need to make any adjustments to that part. Unless, it is affected by the expanded motivation for study revisions. You need to create a concluding paragraph in order to close the essay on a stronger note. It doesn't seem finished at the moment because you closed the essay with an ongoing discussion of your long term goals. Try to develop a more solid closing paragraph that focuses on your excitement at starting the semester at this particular university instead.

@Holt
Thank you very much. I got your points. I failed to mention motivation factors related with my current profession, and how to sharpen it.
I will edit. Always loving your feedback