What is the hardest you have ever worked on something in your life?

What is the hardest you have ever worked on something in your life?

Why did you decide to put your efforts in this undertaking? How has this experience and outcome impacted you and others? (Maximum 200 words)

The value of Education is something that I have understood since a very young age. Neither of I have an opportunity to attend University, And I Have faced many struggles in my personal life. The hardest time for me was that When I moved to another province for my Education purpose and future goals.

I was Eight years old child when I started working for my family to co-operate and help my father in beside working I had studied in school in that hard time. Unfortunately in sixteenth age I had stopped education due to security and financial problems I suppose to finish my High school earlier But I was not able to finish it because I did not attend school for five years, I get back to School again in 21 age unluckily in unsafe area or province of Country by the name of ''Jalalabad'' far away from my home, Every day I had to take couch bus from my home to School, It is all due to financial issues and where I live the schools was not giving me admission back because of my age.

I always try to help students' people around my school, specially impact on students of that province because I always try to teach them Math, English and another national Language which is dari, in Jalalabad Province People mostly speaks Pashto Language, they do not understand the dari language well.

In conclusion all my experience was great, struggling, difficulties and environment teach me a lot of things in life I can proudly say that I finished my High School with best grades.

Hi! Your writing is not bad, there are just some technical edits that I think would help clean it up. "Neither of I have an opportunity"- I am not sure who you mean to describe here but neither would be used if you were describing 2 entities, either individuals or groups. For example, you could say "neither my family nor I have..". Also, you would need to add an additional verb there, "neither my family nor I have had".

Only the first words of a sentence or proper nouns need to be capitalized, words such as "and", "when", "eight", or "education" can be written in lower case.

"Sixteenth age" can be written as "age 16" or "sixteenth year".
Get should be written as "got" .. "I got" back to school"
schools was not giving should be written "were not giving"
Other than the conjugations and unnecessary capitalization, this is a good piece of writing

Thank you very much for your evaluation i will post it again then please recheck it

The impact upon yourself is clear in the essay. It fails to explain how your experience has helped others though. Which is the other point of the discussion. While your explanation is personal, it does not help to address a personal effect with a grander application. By a grander application, I mean allowing your experience to help others. For example, you left school when you were 8. You were not allowed back in when you tried to study at the age of 21. So you fought for admission, explaining the process that gained you the right to go back to school. Then, from then on, others of adult age have been able to go back to school as well. That kind of story.

You have to present a response that is based upon your principles as a person. Why you believed that something was worth fighting for, how it affected others at first, and how your success allowed others to experience the same success you did, but without the hardship involved already. The idea is to present yourself as a principled role model to the reviewer.