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Human resource management and the marketing communication and advertising - why these courses?



choyhar2002 5 / 12  
Oct 26, 2016   #1
Outline why you have selected your chosen three university courses, and explain how this relates to your previous academic or professional experience and your plans for the future.

After a detailed research and long consideration, I decided to give two chances to my most aspired course: human resource management in two different universities and put the last egg into the marketing communication and advertising course. This two courses would complement to my previous degree, economics and would help develop my personal competencies in the fast-moving market.

I have been a flight attendant for ten years and I decided that now is time for me to settle down and pursue higher education in order to obtain a more stability job on ground. While working in the airline get to deal with people from different backgrounds and cultures, I would like to set my next career goal in human resource management. I believe every organization needs a strong base of manpower as it is the greatest resource to a profitability company.

Successful organizations have the right types and amount of people, and are able to maintain an effective relationship between employer and employees.
When companies come out with new policy, they always have different impacts on employees who bear different responsibilities. Sometimes it motivates everyone in the company while sometimes only one particular department gets the benefit. This has created a strong interest in me to understanding and studying the importance of human resource management, it aspires me to be excel in this field. By studying either in Oxford Brokes or Brunel university, I will get to expose to the knowledge of planning, organizing, directing and controlling manpower, which would prepare me to a competent professional and help achieve my life long goal.

On the other hand, I always keep myself open to challenges and opportunities. My outgoing personality and inquisitive mind has discovered my ability in marketing skills. My past achievements in marketing serve as a great proof and has motivated me.

I have chosen marketing course in Kingston University because it provides comprehensives marketing knowledge and definable skills which are pivotal to successful business management. I will get to enhance my future employment prospects, enable myself to flourish in the crowded and complex market. Its research and work based project give opportunities to integrate, apply and extend knowledge while gaining closer contact with foremost organizations.

As I am currently working in the airline, both courses allow me to be able to continue my service in the company beside as a flight attendant. I have been in the company for such a long period, I have witnessed the company's rise and fall and how we have together gone through it and expand. Thus, I believe, by completing the master course, I will definitely become one of the key person who bring the company to further growth.

Holt  Educational Consultant - / 15385  
Oct 26, 2016   #2
Choyhar, there are a number of discrepancies in your essay. First of all, you are being asked to choose 3 universities and you only chose two. Then you decided to discuss only one university instead of 2. Finally, the rest of the essay sounds more like a personal statement for a college application. It does not follow the prerequisite format and information that these prompts expect you to deliver.

It is important that you develop a new essay in place of this one. One that actually delivers the prompt expectations. Do more research and find the other 2 schools that you feel offer you the best options for pursuing a masters degree in a related field. That is, should your first choice university fall through.

You currently have a personal statement presented in the prompt. That is the main problem with this essay. So you cannot simply revise it to fit the prompt. I hope you can do more research into the universities and actually come up with the 3 university course requirement.
OP choyhar2002 5 / 12  
Nov 3, 2016   #3
hi HOLT,

Truly thank you for the highlights. i was actually misunderstood of its requirement and thus out of the track.
Here i re-write again, please kindly give comment and correction
.

After a detailed research and long consideration, I decided to give two chances to my most aspired course: human resource management in two different universities and put the last egg into the marketing communication and advertising course. [...]
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 15385  
Nov 3, 2016   #4
Choyhar, kindly mention some accomplishments that you have had in marketing that would support your claim regarding your marketing skills. That will allow you you to properly connect your past academic or professional achievements with your current skill set and future career goals. Kindly list the universities in chronological order on the page. Without the introductory sentences. Make it almost list type, numerical listings if you must. That way the reviewer can directly scan the information if he needs to do so for comparison purposes. Right now, I find that if I were the reviewer, I would have to scan the essay from beginning to end in order to find the university discussion that I am looking for. Don't make him look for the information. Make sure that it is always within eye-catching distance of the reader.

Your first two university choices lack a relevant description of how these would fit into your future career. Kindly address that missing information in order to better present the discussion of your course and university choices. It sounds more to me like you are more interested in marketing than the other 2 courses. After all, you were able to properly develop your marketing discussion. Something that you weren't able to successfully accomplish with the other 2.

I hope you won't mind revising it one more time?
OP choyhar2002 5 / 12  
Nov 4, 2016   #5
HI Mary,

Regarding the achievement of my marketing skill, i already had it written in another the chevening question (i afraid it may be duplicated here, so i did not mention again)

and i re-arrange the paragraph and add some sentences discuss about how the first 2 courses
again , thank you for your time for going thru my essays and keep giving me advises.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 15385  
Nov 4, 2016   #6
Somehow the paragraph about you being a flight attendant and being exposed to various cultures suddenly jumps to your interest in human resources. There is a lost flow of thought that should be connecting the previous sentence with the next. So I think that you have to explain how your experience as a flight attendant and your exposure to various cultures somehow led you to believe that you should pursue a career in human resources. At the moment, you need to create that connection because the sudden development of your career in human resources does not come across clearly in the opening paragraph. The rest of the essay information is acceptable and usable at this point. Sorry about the small revision. It just occurred to me now as I reviewed your essay.


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