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"International Relationship in Technological University" - an exchange program.



Kulob27acp 1 / -  
Nov 29, 2010   #1
Hello Everyone! Please help me with this essay, this is my first draft.

Here is the instructions.

Provide a clear and detailed description of who you are, including specific information about the following topics:
- Your academic objectives,
- Your goals in terms of your field of study and personal development, and
- The reasons why you wish to study the English language and how it relates to your interests and future objectives.


How pleasing it is to write about my academic objectives, my goals and dreams in terms of my field of study, and offering to read it, despite, your valuable time spent.

Now let me introduce myself. I am the third child of my parent's four children. I have an elder brother, a young brother, a young sister and my parents. My parents had careers and provided me with more opportunities to learn what I want to. They have motivated me to choose Technological University of Tajikistan. Currently I am pursuing my degree in International Relationship in Technological University of Tajikistan. I chose world economy as a major field of study. I am doing well in my studies and all my grades are good. This shows that I am doing my best to work hard towards my goals, and will be a excellence student ready for a career. I am willing to participate in whatever programs and activities required by my university to make the most out of this opportunity. With having a degree, I will have the opportunity to obtain a stable and challenging career.

For now my first and an important goal is to graduate university and get my degree. My career goal is to attain a career where I can express what I have learned from this university and use my passion in this field. After think about many other universities, I have found that this university has just the courses I am looking for and can help me to be successful at my career. After I complete my degree, I want to find a job in bank. Want to have international relations with other foreign developed countries. My achievement in the future lies in my own hands.

So far I have determined my long-term plans, which are chiefly directed to my interests. I want to be an economist in the future. My manor field of study is manager economist with knowledge of English language. In addition as we all know, almost in every county of the world, people speak in English language, English language became world's international language. Therefore I have to know English language. In order to improve my English language, I decided to participate in this program, and study in the most civilized country of the world in the U.S where all nations live and join. I am sure two months of study in a developed country U.S. will advance my English language, my skills, knowledge and understanding in above field and significant reason of my initial step toward creation of successful career.

After I come back I will continue my study in International Relationship in Technological University of Tajikistan and then will do my best to increase the contacts of my country with other countries particularly to the U.S. I will do my best to build the bridge of everlasting friendship of nations. My purpose is promoting peace in the world. I am very committed to fulfilling my career goal and as so I will push myself in many ways to succeed and graduate so that I may accomplish my dream.

EF_Kevin 8 / 13053  
Dec 4, 2010   #2
When you put 2 sentences together as a compound sentence, use a comma:
I am doing well in my studies, and all my grades are good.

This shows that I am doing my best to work hard towards my goals and that I will be an excellence student ready for a career.

I am willing to participate in whatever programs and activities are required by my university to make the...

My career goal is to attain a career where I can express what I have learned from this university and use my passion in this field the field of economics.

After thinking about many other universities, I have...

... want to find a job in a bank.

In addition, as we all know, in almost every county of the world people speak the English language; English language became the world's international language.

I will do my best to build the bridge of everlasting friendship of nations. ---You wrote this sentence very well!

My purpose is promoting peace in the world. ---I think you should give some examples of how you can promote peace as an economist. :-)


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