This is my first time using EssayForm and I would like to hear your feedback on my Statement of Purpose for the Korean Global Scholarship Program, Embassy Track.
I had my friends reviewing it and to them, I am missing the "why" but when I shared it with a professional/paid service it seems that I have met the requirements. Therefore, I am really confused if my essay meets the requirements or not. I appreciate any type of feedback.
I am aiming to study master degree in visual communication design in Korea.
"The Power Of Visuals"
In life, we encounter many tests that determine our dreams, goals, and personality. My ultimate test was finding myself by entering the creative world. After graduating with a degree in banking and finance, I came to realize that I am more enthusiastic about art and design than the financial world, especially since I spend my free time sketching, learning about modern art, and creating different types of mix media collages. For this reason, I consulted a career adviser and conducted research about the creative market in Bahrain before taking the first step into the world of graphic design. Accordingly, I applied for an eight-month professional graphic design course by XX that provided comprehensive graphic design training. I compiled a portfolio of different art projects that I have worked on and focused on my will to learn. Thus, my journey in the design world began.
I fell in love with graphic design during the course, as it was dynamic, engaging and matched what I felt was missing in what I had studied before. Being exposed to an experienced-based learning environment, I have discovered the subtle impact that graphic design has on our daily lives. Attractive visuals to market a product is just one dimension of graphic design. With no signs or a map filled with visual information, we would have great difficulty in reaching our desired destination. Graphic design is the process of visualizing information and conveying a clear message to solve issues creatively using design elements (composition, typography, color, etc.) to make our lives easier.
Upon completing the course. I worked in a local branding agency for a year. This helped me put my skills into practice and add diversity to my portfolio. After that, I worked with one of the top advertising agencies worldwide, XX, on design projects for local, international and regional clients like XX, XX, and XX. These projects introduced me to how graphic design works in creating business success. I worked on a variety of tasks, from social media to copywriting and community management. As a fast learner, I managed to utilize and improve my graphic design skills, and learn how to create animated videos and visuals for online ad campaigns (web banners, emailers, etc.). I was thirsty to learn more about digital marketing, especially since the world is going digital and there is a huge need for digital marketers in Bahrain. Consequently, I became a certified digital marketer through the XX in XX, specializing in strategy and planning.
Korea came into the picture when I visited Seoul for the first time. During that visit, I fell in love with its different designs and architecture. Thus, I started studying Korean and dove into its creative sea. Korean language for me reflects friendship. Since I started learning the language, I have met people who have become dear friends. I have learned so much from them about their culture and lifestyle. Moreover, Korea's unique mix of tradition and modernity and blooming creativity from its viral pop music, food, and fashion has sparked a desire in me to find ways to promote Korea in Bahrain. Moreover, I was eager to be part of the creation of XX, the first Korean cultural club run by Bahrainis that aims to bring Korea closer to Bahrain. I had the opportunity to work on the creation of its brand identity. In addition, I am currently the president of the club and was able to create alongside my team, projects, and events to connect Korean music, food, and culture with the Bahraini youth.
Last year, I wanted to experience living in Korea as a student and experience using the language in real life with real people on a daily basis. Thus, I took a three-month language course at XX University. During it, I discovered that Korean companies insist that individuals in the industry have considerable design experience in developing visually appealing products and services, emphasizing its importance in the consumer purchasing process. To clarify, each cafe an individual visit has its own brand story and character. For instance, Osulloc will make the experience of drinking freshly brewed green tea like one is on Juju island with its lush and healing green visuals. Moreover, the Laneige beauty brand is colored in blue to match their water technology concept, followed with promises to make every woman who uses their products feel nourished and hydrated. The mentioned branding examples and more have boosted my confidence further to study Visual Communication Design in Korea.
Studying at a Korean university will grant me access to its technology-advanced campuses and research facilities, experienced faculty, and innovative teaching approach. Moreover, it will take me a step closer to exploring the Seoul Design Festival and its 386 art institutes and the Daegu Art Fair that had more than 101 galleries in 2017. Also, I will be able to connect with design-minded students and professionals who will broaden my learning experience and equip me with new expertise to build my career and the design community in Bahrain.
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Ema, I tend to agree with the professional service. Your essay fits most of the requirements as provided by the discussion topic suggestions. You have clearly indicated that this is not a continuing education application, but rather a change of career path application. It provides a detailed explanation as to how this came about and how you have prepared for the continuation of your education under a new profession. Since this is a change in career path application, I do not believe that the GKS will require you to prove your research skills and abilities. All your related academic training and professional information seems to on the right path. I would like you to remove information from the parenthesis and make it a part of the actual paragraph though. The parenthesis makes the paper and presentation a little bit unprofessional.
You might also want to explain why you were further motivated to study in Korea because of the way that their creative arts seem to be region based instead of client demographic based. Use less of the explanation as to how they advertise and more information as to how you think their advertising style, once you learn more about it, can be used to up the advertising quality in your own country. That would help boost the motivational and reasoning aspect of your essay.
Save for that observation of mine, I believe that the essay is on solid ground. It just needs a little emphasis on certain discussion topics to make it highly competitive in the screening round. Right now, it is just competitive enough to make it through.