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KGSP Study Plan - Improving ride quality of high-speed trains



jgbiel47 1 / 1  
Jan 30, 2018   #1
Hi everyone,
I would like to ask you to review my study plan for KGSP scholarship. Thanks in advance.
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admission in the Graduate School of Railway



Since my father worked his whole life in a train company, I have always had a keen interest in trains. Furthermore, after working as an intern in the R&D sector of Hyundai Rotem in South Korea, during my exchange year, I've decided to follow my academic career in Railway Vehicle Engineering area. Returning to Brazil, I started working as intern in the Brazilian Company of Urban Trains (CBTU), where I worked for 6 months in the train's maintenance sector. In my point of view, railway vehicles, and especially high-speed trains, are the future of world's transportation system, and my main objective is to become a specialist in Rolling Stock systems, being able to use my work for the development of the sector, and then improving people's quality of life.

During my graduation in Mechanical Engineering, I faced with a wide variety of subjects of study in this major, and I could grasp that every single subject in this field is either fascinating and immensely important for the society. However, throughout my graduation journey, I had a special interest about Dynamics, Kinematics and Control Engineering areas. Also, during a Motorcycle Engineering course, I had the opportunity of using those concepts for vehicle design, which was a mesmerizing experience for me. Yet, since my goal is to do research in Railway Vehicles, it is essential for me to learn the specific knowledge of rolling stock systems, and, due to the advanced level of complexity of this system, it is required more deep study, such as a master's degree. Hence, my goal of study is to learn the general rolling stock system's knowledge, and focus my learning in Railway Vehicle Dynamics. Seoul National University of Science & Technology is one of the few Universities in Korea that provides a specialized education regarding to railroad technology, and its Department of Rolling Stock System offers a differentiated curriculum and a focus on high-speed train design technology that totally fits my objective of study. Also, the department operates in collaboration with the Korea Railway Research Institute, which makes it an amazing opportunity to learn from the best railway experts in South Korea.

My research goal is regarding to the dynamic response of high-speed trains. A rail vehicle running at high speed tends to have a large amplitude vibration of the carbody, and this vibration can cause discomfort to the passengers inside the train. In this context, the vehicle's suspension system plays an important role to reduce the vibration to a tolerable level. Since the faster a train runs, the harder it is to provide a comfort ride, my objective is to analyze, via computational simulations, the dynamic performance of high-speed rail vehicles using different types of active suspension and control strategies, in order to reach a higher level of ride quality. Through the knowledge learned in classes and on-site activities, my aim is to use all my research potential to propose a suspension system that improves the ride quality for the passengers, and I hope that the results of my research can help the development of this technology.

In conclusion, I hope that my experience in railway industry and my academic achievements proves that I am a great candidate for admission in the Graduate School of Railway, and for receiving KGSP scholarship. Once I become a master student of the Department of Rolling Stock Systems at Seoul National University of Science & Technology, I will assure that my acceptance and the given scholarship will be worth.

Holt  Educational Consultant - / 15385  
Jan 30, 2018   #2
JEAN only paragraph 3 is worth using in your revised essay because it contains your thesis statement. That should be the opening paragraph of your new essay. The KGSP goal of study and study plan contain highly specific information that need to be considered for review. After you effectively present your thesis statement and yes, paragraph 3 needs to be revised in order to be more specific about that aspect, you then need to present the methodology for your research in Korea. Specifically how the Korean university can help you advance your research in this field. Detail the reasons why you will need to work closely with the Korean railway system in line with your research and any other research aspects that will require university assistance to accomplish. After that, detail how long you plan to stay in Korea, testing your railway project before finally returning to your home country for the full implementation of your completed goal of study. This essay should be presented in the form of a thesis proposal. You may refer to the various study plan samples for the KGSP program for further reference and samples for formatting and presentation.
OP jgbiel47 1 / 1  
Jan 30, 2018   #3
Hi Holt, thanks a lot for your review.

I understand when you say that my paragraph 3 is the only one covering the the study plan. However, I tried to construct my essay in this way:

1st paragraph: The reason why I am interested about the railway field. (Don't you think I need it?)
2nd paragraph: Explaning why I decided to apply to that university and why my future research will cover vehicle dynamics. I tried to briefly cover what I want to study in here.

3rd paragraph: As you said, this one covers the research plan. I agree that I need to work more on it following the points you mentioned.

4th paragraph: This last paragraph comes only as a simple conclusion. (Should I remove this kind of appeal?)

I am sorry for making you read it through again, but I wrote this reading previews study plans, and I am really stucked to change the format of my current essay and still make a fair line numbers (since you said my 3rd paragraph is the only worth using).

Again, thanks a lot for being so helpful.


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