[Contributor] - / 9,709 3054
P, you make reference to already taking extramural classes in Korean "at either University of the Philippines (UP) Diliman..." When you say either, that means that there is another option for your classes. So it is either you are already taking classes at UP or, you about to take it somewhere else and you are choosing between UP and that other school at the moment. Did something get lost in translation for you while you developing the essay? I think you should edit the sentence to be more reflective of the fact that you are taking classes at UP period. That is, provided that is what you were really trying to say.
From what I can tell, you have tried to gain written proficiency in Korean. That is good since you will be writing papers in their language when you go there to study. However, you have not made any mention of having worked on practicing spoken Korean with others. Here is something that you need to know, being proficient in written Korean will not actually translate to proficient spoken Korean. You need to reflect that you have spent ample time developing both types of Korean language use in order to convince the reviewer that you will be able to participate fully in Korean based classes as well as the language lessons you will be provided with. It is not always that you will find someone fluent enough in the written and spoken aspects of any foreign language so if you can convince the reviewer that you are at least semi-proficient in both cases, then he may take a second look at your application.
My apologies for the very late response as I was busy with work. Thank you so much for your inputs and for pointing out unclear areas! :) The part about taking lessons in KCC was only a plan if the new cycle for the UP extramural classes wouldn't mesh well with my work schedule, so I think I will stick with the premise that I am already taking classes at UP to avoid confusion.