KGSP - my world expanded from the small red dot of Singapore to endless amount of possibilities

KGSP-U 2018 personal statement

Hi, I will be applying for the KGSP undergraduate 2018 and need some help with my personal statement. Do help me see if there are any areas for improvement as well as provide some feedback, I tried to be as honest as possible in my personal statement. Your help is greatly appreciated! (:

It has been about 5 years since I was first introduced to Korean pop, or simply, K-pop. I guess you can call it a butterfly effect, because I wouldn't have been the person I am now if I had not chanced upon Girls' Generation's music back then. Being an avid music lover, I listen to music often. Rather than just a hobby, music to me is also often a stress reliever and it helped get me through tough times in school as well. I got attracted to Girls' Generation when I coincidentally heard their song on the radio, and eventually became a fan of them. Seeing how they were able to achieve their dreams by persevering and never giving up despite experiencing all kinds of failures, my 15 year old self looked up to them as role models and even now, they are strong and empowered women whom I aspire to be.

Throughout my 4 years of high school, I strived and managed to secure my academics in place. I entered Jurong Junior College and spent 2 years of education there, graduating with an A level certificate. It was then that I came to the decision that I do not wish to further my education in a Singapore university. While it is true that Singapore is well known for having a strong education system with better job prospects if you are from a Singapore university, having spent almost 20 years of my life studying here, I felt that something was missing. In college, lectures felt distant and everything was fast paced. It felt as if I was studying for the sake of studying and I didn't know what I wanted to do in the future. Despite being stressed out and worried about my A levels which would supposedly determine my future, I continued pressing on and managed to do decently well, with marked improvements even in my weaker subjects.

After graduating from college, I made the decision to study a part-time diploma at PSB Academy to study Business Administration and started working as an Admin Assistant at Great Eastern Life. Working in an office environment for half a year allowed me to hone my thinking skills as well as ability to adapt to diverse situations. But there is still much left for me to learn about the working society. Hence, I wish to study a degree in business administration in order to attain valuable skills needed for the business world. It is a very practical area of study and will provide me with loads of real-world experience.

My dream is to travel around the world, learning about different cultures and languages. Ever since I started listening to K-pop, I began getting interested in Korean culture as well as Korean language itself. Korea became a country that I find myself visiting often whenever possible, I wanted to learn more about its history and culture as well as take in its beauty. I landed my hands on some university textbooks in order to self-study Korean and while my Korean isn't perfect, I found myself being able to handle basic conversations in Korean. This has also allowed me to meet and make new friends from Korea, as well as different parts of the world.

Korea's sustained emphasis on higher education and strong academic reputation will help shape me into a more self-motivated and strong-willed individual. Since I'm the only child in my family, I believe that my 4 years of education in Korea will be extremely nourishing and fulfilling. I will no longer be shielded from my parents and need to take responsibility for myself and my own learning. Being able to meet people from all walks of life, studying and living in a foreign country, for me, the world has just expanded from the small red dot of Singapore to endless amount of possibilities. KGSP will become a major turning point in my life.

Qiling, do not open the essay with a reference to K-Pop. That is not only the most overused reason for being introduced to Korean society, but it is also the weakest reason that one may have for wishing to study in Korea. I would save that for the later part of the essay. The part that speaks of how you try to imbibe the Korean culture into your life. Since you presented a discussion about the difficulties of life as a Singaporean student, you should explain why you think life as a Korean student will be easier and more beneficial to you, in terms of academic, rather than personal growth. Remember, you need to prove that you can first learn to fluently speak and write in Hangul before you will even be considered for an undergraduate student slot. It is more difficult for you to assure yourself that you will be a successful undergraduate student in Korea, so why do you think you will succeed where others have failed before you? When you speak of your personal circumstances for wishing to study in Korea, focus more on self development and do not mention how you no longer want to be shielded by your parents. Korean culture dictates that parents are to be respected and their wishes are honored by their children to the best of their abilities. Saying you wish to get away from your supportive parents might backfire on your application. Try not to discuss your parents at all in the essay unless it is in a positive light.

Hello Qiling..
As the essay about personal statement, you should claim that you are the best candidate to be accepted through KGSP. I agree with @Holt that opening essay with K-Pop is really not appropriate. Any other reference that could prove you were able to survive on your next education in Korea? Please mention it in your essay if you had. Your preference in fourth paragraph doesn't strong yet to show that you already be familiar with Korean language and writing ability to support yourself in Korea in the future. Besides that, highlight what your study and life in Korea would help you develop yourself to be ready for your future career. Being able to show your independence upon your completion from KGSP.