So Im at a writers block I won this scholarship last year and im working on my new essay for this years application the first part is the original essay from last year and the bottom are what I l currenty have now . It can only be 1000 characters with spacing. Thanks for the help its highly appreciated.
From last years app:
College posters hang from my walls; they serve to remind me of the opportunities available to me through hard work and perseverance. They display beautiful campuses and cities that for me symbolize a world of possibilities; a world I want to explore. I want to continue my studies after my Bachelor's Degree. I plan to pursue a future in Aerospace engineering. I want to one day work for Boeing- a company that leads in the field of aviation. "We know why we're here: to connect and protect, to reshape and redefine, to design, to build and deliver, to dare, to imagine and to dream." The words of Boeing employees reflect my desire to pursue a degree in engineering. With my degree, I can help connect the world in a larger degree through improved efficiency and reliability in design. It also means protecting those that depend on technology to measure up to its intended use for not only commercial purposes, but also for the safety of our nation and protecting people around the world.
New :
I am currently pursuing a bachelor's degree in Aerospace Engineering, looking into flight school, and would like to eventually pursue a Master's degree. Obtaining a competitive academic standing is one of my priorities as well as gaining hands on experience through internships. I am looking into student programs at NASA and Boeing, from whom I hope to one day work. "We know why we're here: to connect, and protect, to reshape and redefine, to design, to build and deliver, to dare, to imagine and to dream, that's why we're here." The words of Boeing employees reflect my desire to pursue a degree in engineering. With my degree, I will be doing more than just building a plane. This plane helps connect multitudes of people. It helps protect people not only in military efforts to take man where it is too dangerous to go through unmanned missions, but also in humanitarian efforts to help deliver desperately needed supplies to nations in needs. Work as an engineer helps people in various ways I can help transform flight to make it safer, more economic; environmentally friendly there are many possibilities.
I feel like I need a stronger hook and to seem a bit more personal in a way if you get what i mean this is from another essay that I kind of wanted to somehow include in there
Great over Good, is the broad theme in which I describe my goals. It is from a quote I heard "Don't settle for being good: be GREAT." For me it is the idea to work hard to be great in everything I do. My main goal this semester is to maintain my President's List standing, which means I have to keep up high grades. I am also focusing on becoming an official for MAES. I attended the MAES symposium last semester, and participated in the National Academic Decathlon where our team took 1st place. The knowledge I gained here has reinforced my academic aspirations and expanded my career goals.
From last years app:
College posters hang from my walls; they serve to remind me of the opportunities available to me through hard work and perseverance. They display beautiful campuses and cities that for me symbolize a world of possibilities; a world I want to explore. I want to continue my studies after my Bachelor's Degree. I plan to pursue a future in Aerospace engineering. I want to one day work for Boeing- a company that leads in the field of aviation. "We know why we're here: to connect and protect, to reshape and redefine, to design, to build and deliver, to dare, to imagine and to dream." The words of Boeing employees reflect my desire to pursue a degree in engineering. With my degree, I can help connect the world in a larger degree through improved efficiency and reliability in design. It also means protecting those that depend on technology to measure up to its intended use for not only commercial purposes, but also for the safety of our nation and protecting people around the world.
New :
I am currently pursuing a bachelor's degree in Aerospace Engineering, looking into flight school, and would like to eventually pursue a Master's degree. Obtaining a competitive academic standing is one of my priorities as well as gaining hands on experience through internships. I am looking into student programs at NASA and Boeing, from whom I hope to one day work. "We know why we're here: to connect, and protect, to reshape and redefine, to design, to build and deliver, to dare, to imagine and to dream, that's why we're here." The words of Boeing employees reflect my desire to pursue a degree in engineering. With my degree, I will be doing more than just building a plane. This plane helps connect multitudes of people. It helps protect people not only in military efforts to take man where it is too dangerous to go through unmanned missions, but also in humanitarian efforts to help deliver desperately needed supplies to nations in needs. Work as an engineer helps people in various ways I can help transform flight to make it safer, more economic; environmentally friendly there are many possibilities.
I feel like I need a stronger hook and to seem a bit more personal in a way if you get what i mean this is from another essay that I kind of wanted to somehow include in there
Great over Good, is the broad theme in which I describe my goals. It is from a quote I heard "Don't settle for being good: be GREAT." For me it is the idea to work hard to be great in everything I do. My main goal this semester is to maintain my President's List standing, which means I have to keep up high grades. I am also focusing on becoming an official for MAES. I attended the MAES symposium last semester, and participated in the National Academic Decathlon where our team took 1st place. The knowledge I gained here has reinforced my academic aspirations and expanded my career goals.