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A leader. A simple word that holds a power on its own. Leadership - Chevening 2017/2018



juviisnino 2 / 3  
Nov 6, 2016   #1
Hi, I need help proofreading my essay for Chevening 2017/2018 scholarship application. I know I am late so I need help urgently. Thank you in advance to the ones who help! :')

LEADERSHIP & INFLUENCE QUESTION

A leader. A simple word that holds a power on its own, covering a wide spectrum of meaning perceived differently by each one. The consensus of being a leader boils down to being someone who is looked up to, depended on for guidance and influential in other people's lives. Human beings are born with innate talent to being a leader, but the skill is nurtured only with life experiences and lessons. This skill manifests in various forms and differs with each person although the core principle remains the same. A leader takes the initiative to lead the team.

I find the human minds interesting as it can generate a variety of ideas and concepts, wholly different and diverse between one and another. The focus of my leadership lies in listening to these unheard thoughts, confined within the caskets of their own mind. A leader could not act and guide his team while being blind to the needs of the followers, nor can he lead while being completely dependent on his team's thoughts. What a leader need is a balance between listening and taking it into account when making a decision.

As an engineer, a single mistake in the steps could prove to be fatal in the final design that could cause a collapse in the structure and devastation of surrounding environment in the long run. Care must be taken in every step of the study processes. When one of the projects met a dead end on the study approach, I led the team by first gathering the members involved and proceeded to listen to their previously used methodologies from each of them. I considered the methods and the reasons of failure and found a loophole in their approaches and proceeded to guide them accordingly. The ease of my leading and the respectful manner I practiced had earned their trust and respect. This is evident by the way they readily look up to me for advices and guidance despite me not being part of the team for the projects, and the way they agree to my initiatives for leading a new project.

I hone my leadership skills by participating in the company's event organizing club and was selected as one of the high committees. Leading my own team for organizing events, we have managed to complete our tasks earlier than expected, while maintaining the quality of our work. The participants have expressed their satisfaction in our events, particularly in the aspects that I have been leading such as the receptions and handling of participants.

I believe that being a leader is not being a perfect and flawless being. A leader makes mistakes, learn from it and lead others whilst inspiring them. A leader can only lead when others accept him as the leader, and that requires respect and trust. Listen, understand, act and inspire others. That is my way of leading, as quoted by Woodrow Wilson, "The ear of the leader must ring with the voices of the people."

Holt  Educational Consultant - / 15393  
Nov 6, 2016   #2
Nadia, there is too much prologue going on in your essay. You have spent way too much time setting up the backgrounder for your essay that it took over the focus of the essay. You need to figure out how much of the information that you placed in the introduction regarding your definition and understanding of leadership and influence you can remove. I sincerely doubt that lessening that part will have any effect on your essay. In fact, reducing the coverage of that particular section should help to better focus the essay on your participation in leadership and influencing activities. By the way, the quote from Woodrow Wilson should not be placed at the end of the essay. Quotes are normally placed in a place of honor at the start of the essay. If you can't find a way to place the quote at the top, then maybe it would be best not to use it at all in your essay.
OP juviisnino 2 / 3  
Nov 6, 2016   #3
@Holt

Hi Mary, thank you for the comment. I was thinking the same thing, is it better for me to take out the first paragraph? I will amend and replace the quote at the top and revamp the introduction section. Are my experiences and content sufficient, and does it deliver the objectives of the prompt?

Appreciate if you could also have a look at my networking essay in my previous thread.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 15393  
Nov 6, 2016   #4
Yes, I believe that you can remove the first paragraph without affecting the overall essay concept. I tried to read your essay without the first paragraph and I found that, if you would like to, you can also remove the second paragraph. However, since the last line about your personal definition of leadership is something that I found quite interesting, I would like to have you use it in a transition sort of way so that it could introduce your next paragraph in an interesting manner. Somehow, it connects to the paragraph. I believe that you should also find a way to explain that trust and respect in your group translated into an influencing skill on your part. I believe that you can do that if you would be able to present an inspiring and influencing event that happened within your team while you were helping them deal with the crisis.


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