Hi all, can you please review and give feedback to my essay about leadership and influence essay?
Leadership skill is mandatory required in the real life experiences. It is the flexible approach to manage all things including time, budget, resources and the whole projects. Leadership to me is a competence of a person to put themselves to set strategies in order to successfully accomplish the goal of the projects. To be a leader does not mean you are dominating the project, but you are as a leader who take a role to make a decision. A leader should also have a power to inspire and influence other, because they are the one who get one step ahead among the whole team. In my opinion, Leadership skills is not coming from theories knowledge you have got in school but it is like everyday learning practice in experiences.
One of my most significant example where I succeeded being a leader is when I was being Teacher Assistant in my college. I have got selected by my lecturer to be assistant lecturer since I was in my second year of study. But because until then I have no enough confidence to publicly sharing my knowledge, I just accept my lecturer offer in the next period of school year. During my dedication of teaching, I was felt being given the duty to provide my students the knowledge that can be easily understood by them. Every week I prepared lesson structure and task for my student to getting engage with the material and case study, with the intention to create their critical thinking and problem solving patterns in every case study exercises. As an assistant lecturer, I influence my student by provide them with the study case problem example to help them fully understood how to solve when it came to in real life example problem not only the theories they learn in the class. I also make a special class with assignment session to help them overcome difficulties in their class homework assignment given by their lecturer.
Furthermore, now me as Project Management Officer, actually got succeed accomplish my first assignment to drive my team got Appraised in CMMI Level 3 certification. In this role, I have to force my team to conduct the new methodology used in the development. This new methodology has a strict procedure, and it was really challenging for me since we have to conduct this during the ongoing project. For me, manage people is the most difficult things, sometimes they were refuse to follow the new rules behind the reason of they feel safe doing the same job in current methodology. I have to do some approach to get them, influence and motivating them to follow the rules. I brought vision, ease in the future, and reason to change to motivate my team. In the end, I actually got success accomplish my first assignment in my office and valued by teamwork appreciation as an honor. Then I realized, leadership skills not only what you are to lead. It also comes how you communicate, influence and motivating others in team called team work.
Furthermore, now me as Project Management Officer, actually got succeed I accomplished my first assignment to drive my team got to get appraised ...
i hope this helps
Hello Amanda, I want to comment on your essay content.
I like how you explain the introduction then giving examples of the past and the present experience.
However your ways to explain things could get confusing.
Here are the things I want to point out:
1st pharagraph:
- It is the flexible approach
I uderstand that you are trying to explain the leadership as a skill to..... But, I think it is more appropriate to use or add "as a leader we have to consider..."
-but you are as a leader (unnecesarry emphasis)
2nd pharagraph
-I have no enough (I do not have enough)
-I influence my student by provide them with the study ...
This can be shortened to "I influence my student by helping them to imagine problem solving in a real life situation"
3rd pharagraph
-..difficult things, (stop/dot) sometimes they were refuse to follow the new rules behind the reason of (because) they feel safer doing the same ...
Also I don't really know if its a good or bad thing, but I think the way you describing the examples are too in depth that makes the essay a bit off topic.
For example in pharagraph 1, are you trying to describe what your responsibility is?
"Every week I... with the intention to.. ."
I think it is better to put it like this:
"to create their critical thinking and problem solving patterns in every case study exercises, Every week I prepared lesson structure and task for my student to getting engage with the material and case study"
Good luck on your application!
If you don't mind, please check mine also
Thank you so much for your comment ichepe!
i give deep example to make clear what I want to describe. But I also do not know what is chevening expect from this, the general or detail one.
Anyway, thank you your comment it helped me a lot.
