"like a bird in a cage , you are without well educate" my grandfather's words craft my educational journey, it always lead me to be one of top students in elementary school and In my middle school, I ranked the first student among a total of 240 students in my grade. From year 2000 under scourge of war in XXX I learned to challenge and be adapted in hard situations , until I succeed in my high school and pass with 86.2% .
My university study was one of the most challenges I went throw in all my life. My passionate about Business and Management ,and study abroad intention, took me away from my country , close friends, and my family the source of my inspiration, In summer 20XX, I traveled to XXX, enrolled in Business school -English section, equipped with rudimentary English that was my first obstacle and challenge in college then my grandfather lost . Driven by the values instilled in me and what my grandfather had taught me to struggle and act I graduated with " Very Good" grade.
Dependency often stems from a lack of opportunities, that came from facing a major economic difficulties ,such as 31.2% unemployment rate in XXX with a very competitive job market ,with a 16.6$ as an average daily wage ,compared with the complicated political situations that affect any national or international investments I am unable to find a job. Under such circumstances I extremely reliant on my father, I knew my parents could not afford to help me with college. I would rather not share our financial situation, it is enough to say that I live with my parents and my sister in addition to my elder brother and his wife and two kids who escaped from the war in XXX and all of us depending on my father pension .
After my last voluntary experience i figure out how much i could be helpful for my community, thus i became a Member of the Board of Directors in local NGO. The traumatic environmental situation in XXX is taking my attention therefore I want to assist essential actions toward this disaster by market the problem and initiate profitable projects stand on the recycling concept. By supporting my education I will be able to help my community in two major tracks , creating new job markets ,and decreasing pollution .
I don't know if it's too late to help some more, but...
You will be like a bird in a cage without a good education.
and
That was my first obstacle in college; shortly after, my grandfather died. His death was very hard for me to cope with, but I vowed to honor his memory.
On the First paragraph, you should outline it like this:
1. What did your grandpa motivate you to do?
2. How?
3. Then use your statistics that you bring up
On your second, you should:
1. Talk about why you left your country
2. It was difficult
3. Your grandpas motivation
4. The result
You can also say in your second paragraph how you wee motivated by everyone and everything you had but you decided to go on that journey so that you can help them one day
A lot of the spelling errors have been corrected already. Good luck! :)
Dear pacers7ind thank you very much ,unfortunately it is late, but it will help me in the coming motivation letters,i know it is full of mistakes, it is my first time to write.
Again thank you very much and i appreciate your efforts.
