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'just like the injured dogs lying on the side of the street - Vires; Scholarship Essay(s)



electricristina 1 / 1  
Jul 2, 2010   #1
Prompt:

Select a torch and submit a short essay (250 words maximum) on the qualities that torch represents and how it is a part of something you personally value.

Here are the names of the three torches and their ideals:
Vires, which stands for physical, moral, and intellectual Strength;
Artes, which symbolizes knowledge, the appreciation of beauty, and Skill; and
Mores, which represents custom, tradition, and Character.

A panel of judges will select one essay winner for each torch. You may write an essay for more than one torch, but you are eligible to win only one scholarship.

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Vires

As a child, I would gaze out the window in my car on the way home from school, and occasionally something small and furry would catch my eye. "Mommy, stop. There's a puppy that looks alone and hurt." But every time, we would drive on by as I would be reassured that someone would eventually help it, even though I would watch the people continue to pass and go on with their lives, doing nothing about it.

As I grew older, the tendency of following the crowd shed as my desire to make an imprint in other's lives grew in its place. Now and then, I'll sacrifice a few minutes to help an abandoned animal. My dog, Sammy, has been living a healthy, happy life since I first took it home when I was seven.

I believe that every person should take initiative to help an individual in need, instead of assuming that it's someone else's responsibility. Imagine what the world would be like if we stood by the sidelines and waited for someone else to make the latest inventions, to cure diseases, or to take care of those in need.

The most unimaginable disasters are the living nightmares of others. In this decade the world has experienced earthquakes in Chile and Haiti, and abiding homicides in Sudan and Afghanistan. Even if we live on the other side of the world, the innocent people in these countries could still use our help, just like the injured dogs lying on the side of the street.

Artes

One of the many wonders of life is the unpredictable aspect of it, similar to rolling a pair of dice. It can either subdue our pulsating anxiety when the result turns out favorably, or become potentially problematic. However, the dice wouldn't have rolled itself if the chance hadn't been risked.

For as long as I could remember, my mother has spent her days dwelling inside the comfort of her bedroom or walking around the house aimlessly. She is a college graduate, a wife, and a mother of five children, yet her dreams consist of hopes of one day becoming a doctor, going to law school, or finishing her Master's degree in Biomedical Engineering. As she sulks in her bedroom, I wonder if she is waiting for her dreams to materialize in front of her someday.

Troubled by my mother's apathy, I went to a friend I confided to, and she told me, "As much people say they don't want to, everyone will end up like their parents." Every now and then, I lose sleep remembering those words and beg for them not to be true.

As a freshman in college moving 500 miles away from her hometown at seventeen against her family's wishes, I believe that we don't await the arrival of destiny, but it is something we have to pursue.

I want to become a doctor, I want to live where there's snow, and I want to enjoy my life until there's nothing left. I will always remember my mother and what she has done for me. I've inherited her kind heart and the ability to dream beyond, but my determination to take in everything life has to offer didn't come from a future homemaker.

Mores

When Fidel Castro took the reigns of the Republic of Cuba, its civilians struggled to escape his merciless authority. When my father was four, he, his sister, and his mother were part of the few who found refuge in Florida. His father was part of the many that didn't.

Ten years later the family was reunited, but suffered from the trauma on account of the long and agonizing separation. That empty void in their lives was swelled by the remorse from being unable to witness or even contribute to each other's growth.

From then on my family taught me to believe in togetherness, and that every moment apart was precious time lost. Every Friday and Sunday the meals had to be together, not one person would be left behind on a vacation or road trip, and even our houses are less than a mile apart.

However, I gradually came to the realization that a bird cannot fly if it stays in the comfort of its nest forever. Now as a freshman in college moving 500 miles away from her hometown at seventeen against her family's wishes, I believe in spreading your wings and learning to soar.

I still hold the belief in preserving family customs, but I've also learned that creating new ones is even better. In spite of the uneasiness of my departure, I vowed to never miss an opportunity to join them on a road trip or attend a family dinner. I also promised to write letters, attend every holiday event, and even make surprise visits when I can.

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Notes:

I did all 3 and am submitting each to one torch, so let me know if you feel like one essay fits another torch/ideal or something.

I like the first one and it's on it's final draft. The second needs major improvement. I've been told it's too negative and I am kinda convinced I should start it all over. The third is my second favorite, but I was told the introduction needed a bit more "oomph." Any suggestions, grammar changes, etc. will be greatly appreciated.

Thanks! (:

EF_Kevin 8 / 13053  
Jul 4, 2010   #2
I hae an interesting idea for you. th first essay an be used for mores, and the last essay can be adjusted to be about strength... vires... strength in the solidity of family, strength to resist oppression.

Here is another idea:
As I grew older, I shed the tendency to follow the crowd as my desire to...

One of the many wonders of life is its unpredictable aspect, that characteristic of the human condition that makes every passing moment like a roll of the dice.

These are very impressive already! The fact that you elected to write an essay for each of the three will surely impress them. And your writing is inspired!!

Tell a little more, in each essay, about your professional aspirations. Even a sentence or two will help.
OP electricristina 1 / 1  
Jul 31, 2010   #3
Those ideas are splendid! Unfortunately I wasn't able to read to read them on time, but I won the scholarship with my Mores essay! (:

Thank you so much for the input though! Really, really appreciate it!
EF_Kevin 8 / 13053  
Aug 1, 2010   #4
Nice!! Congratulations :-) You are welcome!


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