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'man equipped with the right tools' - Scholarship review



Riddi 7 / 16  
Mar 20, 2012   #1
I am applying for a scholarship, the prompt of the essay is as follows:

"Use this sheet to describe your educational and career goals. Please indicate (1) why you wish to undertake further studies. (2) why you have chosen the institution you wish to attend and (3) how the course you plan to pursue will prepare you for the future. Do not provide a statement written for another purpose. (Attach additional sheet if needed)"

Kindly review the essay and check if it sounds superficial anywhere along with grammatical errors. Thank you!

A man equipped with the right tools needs no further learning as everything else comes to him as an implicit understanding when he applies the knowledge of the tools that he has acquired. While working with an NGO Mansha Manav Kalyan Samstha on a project of Farmers' club programme of NABARD as an intern, I learnt a great deal about what I knew before hand and what I didn't and still further what I need to learn myself. It was this time that my interest in the subject of microeconomic policy along with development bloomed. It was also the time when my penchant for exploring new market based solutions fostering sustainable growth through inclusive globalisation began. During this time I felt the need of learning new research tools in economics, which I realised my undergraduate knowledge in economics was not sufficient to equip me with. It is for these reasons that I wish to undertake further studies in economics which would help me acquire the skills needed for a successful career in microeconomic policy and development.

Warwick has a formidable international reputation for its economic department and is known for its rigorous training in economics. I believe a year spent at Warwick under Professor Chris M Woodruff who has expertise in the field of economic development, and has conducted extensive research in microenterprise in Mexico with a number of articles and books' chapters to his credit, can assist me in my goal. Besides, studying at Warwick, I can also be benefited by its research experience in the field of development economics through research centres such as Competitive Advantage in Global Economy.

In future I want to work either with a policy think tank in my aforementioned field of interest or pursue a career as an economist in private or public institutions or in an international organisation such as UNDP, World Bank, etc. for a year or two and then to pursue PhD in economics to further my career in academic and research. By the end of my course I would be better informed about the tools and techniques that are required for advanced research analysis, helping me to pursue my career in research.

Jennyflower81 - / 674  
Mar 20, 2012   #2
Hi :) I can help with your essay.

A man equipped with the right tools needs no further learning as everything else comes to him as an implicit understanding when he applies the knowledge of the tools that he has acquired.

I would re-word this notion. The sentence is far to long, and I had to re-read it a couple of times, so I decided it is confusing. The first sentence really needs to draw in the reader to continue reading your paper. Maybe include a quote from somebody famous, or from a role model of yours.

While working with an NGO Mansha Manav Kalyan Samstha on a project of Farmers' club programme of NABARD as an intern, I learnt a great deal about what I knew before hand and what I didn't and still further what I need to learn myself.

This is a bit "wordy" Simplify. Learnt--- say, "learned" You mean to say that your previous knowledge improved, you learned new skills, and you realized that there is much more info to explore.

It was this time that my interest in the subject of microeconomic policy along with development bloomed. It was also the time when my penchant for exploring new market based solutions fostering sustainable growth through inclusive globalisation began.

You could say it like this: I began to focus on the subject of microeconomic policy and development. My interests also led to my exploration of new market based solutions, which foster sustainable growth through inclusive globalization.

I hope my ideas help, good luck in school!


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