hi guys.. please help me to improve my motivation letter for master degree scholarship in UK.. helping in error checking, correcting or any more addition sentence..
my deadline is next week. this my motivation letter
Dear Sir and Madam
My name is Amalia Rifqiati, Firstly I would like to express my strong interest in applying a Master's Degree Program in Actuarial Management offered by City University. I graduated in 2001, from Hasanuddin University, Indonesia and hold a Bachelor's Degree in Financial Management. The years of undergraduate program in Financial Management formed the basics of my perseverance towards achieving an in-depth knowledge in the field of Management. As a part of my degree course I studied various subjects relating to diverse aspects of Management which includes Financial Management. I believe this program is prestigious opportunity to enrich my knowledge as well as solid step towards my goal become professional expert in social security
As growing in a developing country like Indonesia witness of many development issues such as poverty, income inequality and others which arouse me choose profession in the field of social security and contribute more to poverty reduction and public welfare. I have had my passion for studying aboard after starting work in State Owned Company engaged in Insurance especially social security in Indonesia as accounting staff. And I was fortune enough to get appointed as junior Manager in the Financial Department of PT. Jamsostek (Persero) North Maluku Branch, Indonesia, in middle 2009. I feel that international exposure is vital to appreciate my work as public servant required to provide service excellent and improvement of public welfare as it has become clear to me that in today's world, barriers to trade are being broken down and technology is transforming the nature and pace of business and trade in the international arena. It makes me frustrated and wanted to pursue economics education at a higher level. With better knowledge, I am confident that I will be able to understand the economic and social problem better and this knowledge can contribute to humanity even to my country as well.
However the problem which I face nowadays is restructuring organization, regulation demand to provide pension with defined benefits and additional benefits and also Asian free trade in 2015 while my colleagues and I lack knowledge of actuarial management and international business that cannot enough for leading financial department. So as my career goals to become successful expert, I decide to become familiar with actuarial sciences by doing Master Degree in Actuarial Management. This major involves the actuarial risk management, health insurance, life insurance, pension and other benefit, Finance and investment. After a board search, i found the Master Degree of Actuarial Management at City University the best choice for me because they have good staff teachers which excellent in this field and hope can discussion and work research with them later.
Faculty of Actuarial Management at City University is one of the best faculty in Europe and the mathematic is the language in the economics field. Therefore, I make an efforts to improved quantitative skills by taking calculus and statistic in mathematics. I would be thrilled to be accepted for this scholarship program. I believe I offer leadership, a strong background and a desire to go one step further than the rest. I have the right academic record, the right skills and attitude to succeed and I am convinced that this program is the right stepping-stone for my professional ambitions.
Thank you for your time and consideration. I am waiting for your response.
Yours faithfully,
my deadline is next week. this my motivation letter
Dear Sir and Madam
My name is Amalia Rifqiati, Firstly I would like to express my strong interest in applying a Master's Degree Program in Actuarial Management offered by City University. I graduated in 2001, from Hasanuddin University, Indonesia and hold a Bachelor's Degree in Financial Management. The years of undergraduate program in Financial Management formed the basics of my perseverance towards achieving an in-depth knowledge in the field of Management. As a part of my degree course I studied various subjects relating to diverse aspects of Management which includes Financial Management. I believe this program is prestigious opportunity to enrich my knowledge as well as solid step towards my goal become professional expert in social security
As growing in a developing country like Indonesia witness of many development issues such as poverty, income inequality and others which arouse me choose profession in the field of social security and contribute more to poverty reduction and public welfare. I have had my passion for studying aboard after starting work in State Owned Company engaged in Insurance especially social security in Indonesia as accounting staff. And I was fortune enough to get appointed as junior Manager in the Financial Department of PT. Jamsostek (Persero) North Maluku Branch, Indonesia, in middle 2009. I feel that international exposure is vital to appreciate my work as public servant required to provide service excellent and improvement of public welfare as it has become clear to me that in today's world, barriers to trade are being broken down and technology is transforming the nature and pace of business and trade in the international arena. It makes me frustrated and wanted to pursue economics education at a higher level. With better knowledge, I am confident that I will be able to understand the economic and social problem better and this knowledge can contribute to humanity even to my country as well.
However the problem which I face nowadays is restructuring organization, regulation demand to provide pension with defined benefits and additional benefits and also Asian free trade in 2015 while my colleagues and I lack knowledge of actuarial management and international business that cannot enough for leading financial department. So as my career goals to become successful expert, I decide to become familiar with actuarial sciences by doing Master Degree in Actuarial Management. This major involves the actuarial risk management, health insurance, life insurance, pension and other benefit, Finance and investment. After a board search, i found the Master Degree of Actuarial Management at City University the best choice for me because they have good staff teachers which excellent in this field and hope can discussion and work research with them later.
Faculty of Actuarial Management at City University is one of the best faculty in Europe and the mathematic is the language in the economics field. Therefore, I make an efforts to improved quantitative skills by taking calculus and statistic in mathematics. I would be thrilled to be accepted for this scholarship program. I believe I offer leadership, a strong background and a desire to go one step further than the rest. I have the right academic record, the right skills and attitude to succeed and I am convinced that this program is the right stepping-stone for my professional ambitions.
Thank you for your time and consideration. I am waiting for your response.
Yours faithfully,