Hi everyone, I am new to here.
I need your help to proofread my writing. Thank in advance everyone!
Why did you choose your proposed course and institution?
(Max. 2000 characters)
I intend to pursue a master's degree in Peace and Conflict Studies to address my proficiency gap in resolving interreligious conflicts in Indonesia, particularly within my community.
Indonesia's conflicts are uncontrolled. In 2023, the Israel and Palestine tension affected my home province, North Sulawesi, caused by provocations between Christian and Muslim communities in cyberspace, leading to mass clashed and casualties. The conflict was resolved through dialogue and peace declarations, which potentially harbor future conflicts. Indonesia is facing challenges to address the SDGs 16, that aims to ensure human rights and justice systems. I observe that these issues arise due to intolerance, a lack of peace literacy, and discriminative policies.
Reflecting on this situation, I am eager to earn knowledge and skills necessary as my country needs someone with expertise as peacebuilder and conflict resolution specialist to prevent and mitigate conflicts. I choose Australia for its commitment in promoting peace dan an active role in peacekeeping mission under the UN's organizations. Australia also has been Indonesia's partner in maintaining peace and stability since 1947.
Master in Peace and Conflict Studies at The University of Queensland is my first choice due to its interdisciplinary approach, focusing on peace-building strategies, conflict resolution, and prevention, which will help me analyze the root causes of problems and address recent issues locally and globally. Additionally, The Rotary Peace Center provided by the program, will further enhance my skills by offering practical experiences, with Professor Roland Bleiker as an expert.
Alternatively, the University of Sydney offers Master in Social Justice with a critical approach from understanding the root causes to employing tools to achieve peace with justice. The specialty in peacebuilding and reconciliation will equip me with the necessary skills to deal with human rights, justice, and peace effectively.
Holt Educational Consultant - / 14,835 
4783 The backgrounder that you have chosen to present is a stand alone discussion, which does not relate directly to the reasons why you have chosen these universities and courses. You need to delete that stand alone presentation and instead, offer an insight into how the course choices you have made, and the universities themselves, align with your personal and academic requirements. Work the conflict into the explanation, but make sure that it has a direct relationship with the course choice. Otherwise, the reviewer will fail to see how the courses will address your ambitions for peace in your country. You need to tie things together so that the reviewer can get a better idea of your peace plan and how studying at the university, which ever you might be approved for, fits into your peace narrative.
