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Mastercard Scholarship - Msc Public Policy Essay



badoe 1 / -  
Oct 14, 2024   #1
How would being a Mastercard Foundation Scholar at McGill University support your development personally and professionally? Please help me review

Being a Mastercard Foundation Scholar at McGill University would be a turning point in my life, both personally and professionally, giving me the chance to unlock my full potential.
Personally, this scholarship would help me overcome my long-held doubts about leadership. Growing up, I was the quiet, laid-back type who never felt confident enough to lead. My first attempt at leadership as a form leader in high school didn't go well, and I let that failure convince me that I wasn't cut out for such roles. But things changed when I was promoted to a center manager after my hard work in various roles. Though it was uncomfortable at first, I embraced the challenge and discovered a passion for creating change. I became driven to bridge the gender and disability gaps in technology and to empower women artisans through digital tools. Since then, I've trained over 100 women, mentored girls in STEM, and organized IT workshops for underprivileged children. These experiences taught me that leadership isn't about perfection; it's about lifting others up and making a difference.
Professionally, McGill University offers exactly what I need to amplify my impact. Learning from experts, engaging in research, and connecting with a global network of changemakers would give me the skills to create initiatives that drive both economic empowerment and social equity in my community. With McGill's focus on innovative solutions to global issues, I'll be equipped to bring fresh ideas and practical solutions to the challenges we face.
I believe this scholarship is more than just an academic opportunity; it's the key to unlocking my potential as a leader. It's my chance to turn my passion for social impact into real, lasting change, helping to create a more inclusive and sustainable future
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 15921  
Oct 15, 2024   #2
Avoid opening the essay with a defeatist attitude and negative character presentation. You want to make a positive impression on the reviewer, this current opening is a disaster because you are telling the reviewer what you do not like about yourself and what you failed at. Since the scholarship will prioritize trailblazers and people whose quest for success has a proven track record, you will already have lost the chance to win the scholarship based on the first few sentences of this statement. Revise it. Deliver a positive image for yourself. Make sure that you focus on your professional development from the start to the present, skirting any negatives, then integrate these into your personal development. The essay requires a serious rewrite focused on the points I mentioned.


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