Meeting with different peoples had enabled me to see things from different points of view

Hello all, I plan to submit my application today but I need your advise on this last essay of mine please. Thanks in advance.

Chevening networking essay

As a person in a teaching profession at the university, I had an opportunity to meet with different peoples from different institutions due to seminars and conferences also I had an opportunity to meet with professionals when they came to our campus as a guest lecturer from different universities which helped me to upgrade my knowledge and have a good insight in my profession and field of study. To meet with different peoples from different organizations and have a network with them is very essential to develop the knowledge and skill and contribute to the community with knowledge, experience sharing and material support. I learned its value when I meet with a professional that contributed to upgrading my knowledge on my profession.

Two years ago I met with a professor while he came to give a block course from another university as a guest lecturer. At that time I had managed to discuss about research plans for my thesis and with that discussion also he gave me a very vital insights towards the courses I am teaching for my students which helped to be upgrade my profession . After a year, I had communicated with him and start my postgraduate thesis by having him as my advisor. Also he agrees and starts to advise other three of my fellow classmates in their thesis.

In addition to giving support in my thesis work with ideas the connection I had with him helped me to get material like software, books and even sites to upgrade my knowledge on my work since as a lecturer I have to upgrade my knowledge to teach my students being equipped with a knowledgesupported by latest technology and I use those materials when giving classes too. Last semester some of my students needed a software for their undergraduate thesis work and they could not find it anywhere and due to that they were about to become dismissed since the project completion was a main criteria for them to graduate. At that time I had managed to use the network I had to get that software for my students from that professor which he get it from his colleagues in his institution. And that software helps those students of mine to the successful completion of their thesis and enable them to be graduated.

I believe meeting with different peoples had enabled me to see things from different points of view which strengthen my professional career and I will strengthen these networks of mine through chevening for the success of my future plans that is to contribute to the development of the country.

Hi ,

I can see that you can develop and maintain a particular relationship which benefit in your work at university. However, maybe it just can show your relationship with one person. Therefore, if you can share your experience in developing the network in different and wider community, your essay would be stronger....

(just my personal opinion though)

@anhthu_nt2
Thank you and I will revise it based on your comments.

Hi all,

would it strengthen my essay if i share my experience about a network i had created with some peoples of an organization and use that network to help my students accepted for their internship?

There is a missing element from this essay. I feel like there is too much "take" on your part from those who are a part of your network but you are not really giving them anything back in exchange for all the help they provide you and your students. Haven't the members of your network asked for your help in some way? Why don't you represent one paragraph in reference to that so that the essay will feel more balanced. It will help to justify your statement in the concluding paragraph about your being willing to share your network and engage the newcomers to the scholarship. Provide the "give and take" example in your essay in order to strengthen that concluding claim. This is already a strong essay that is only lacking an enhancement here and there. The additional paragraph should help you better highlight your networking skills in this paper.

@Holt
Dear Mary, I did add a paragraph about how i helped one of my networks by giving a software training to them which i hope will strengthen my essay and submit my application.

Thank you so much for all the help

No. That did not strengthen the essay. In fact, it was negligible in the presentation. In that presentation, you said the software was for your students. So you still "took" but did not give to the network. You also "took" from the professor but you did not "give" him anything in exchange. That is not the way the network works. It is a give and take relationship in most instances. Your essay is all about taking but you never truly or clearly offered something to your network in exchange. The essay is not really strong because of the lack of proper networking skills representation. You always took but never shared with your network. You helped your students, you did not help your network. At every turn, you asked of your network or took for personal gain from the network, but never explained how you gave back to the network, which is what Chevening expects from its graduates. Don't worry though, I will not insist on having you change your essay. Use this version. Though not completely representative of the prompt expectations in my opinion, what matters is that you are happy with what you are submitting.