Motivation letter for applying Scholarship in Netherlands

Hi everyone, i really need your help to review and proofread my motivation letter below. It is used for applying scholarship by NufficNeso with my preference in agriculture programme. Hope to get lotsa feedback from you soon! Thanks!

applying scholarship by NufficNeso with preference in agriculture programme

Indonesia's largest tropical peatland (14.9 million hectares) is a hidden natural resource. Although known as marginal land, it plays a vital role in supporting SDG 13 and 15 - climate regulation and ecosystem services provision. Recently, the Ministry of Environment and Forestry has increased the efforts to conserve peat ecosystem by established Peat Restoration Agency (BRG) and Government Regulation (PP) No. 57/2016 due to the rising number of hazardous peat fires, whereby the fault is placed mostly on oil palm and forest plantations. Unfortunately, the regulation of water table criterion was controversial and the adequate research is needed.

I want to help and solve peatland's major issues by analyzing the relation of water management practices with yield gap and peatland biophysical conditions from smallholders to estate palm oil plantations - as an effort for minimizing peat degradation. For that reason, I intend to continue my study in the International Land and Water Management programme offered by Wageningen University and Research (WUR) and grasp the advance knowledge. WUR is acknowledged as the best agriculture and forestry university in the world with myriad research on tropical peatland development, such as RESTORPEAT and Indonesian Peat Prize. WUR's multidisciplinary courses mainly focus on optimizing degraded land and water management vis-à-vis worldwide food security and possess congruent value with StuNed priority area (Agriculture development) which became my fundamental reason to apply for this scholarship.

With my master degree, I aspire to become a researcher specialized on tropical peatland management as well as advisors at governmental authorities under Indonesian Ministry of Agriculture. I aim to devote myself in Indonesian Research Institute and conduct a comprehensive research to improve a sufficient guideline for minimizing the environmental issues which in line with Indonesian Sustainable Palm Oil (ISPO), evaluating contentious government policies, reinforcing effective water management and actively contribute in Pantau Gambut platform. Hopefully, with StuNed oppurtunity, the cooperation of Indonesia-Netherlands governments and research groups will enhanced and eventually my determination altered into an impactful contribution for Indonesia.

As a Bachelor from soil science major, Universitas Brawijaya, my experiences range from being an assistant lecturer for Agroforestry and Agroecosystem Management to conducted a research for restoration's baseline at Bromo Tengger Semeru National Park. Currently, I am enrolled in an internship programme and engaged in diverse research at Indon*sian Oil Pa*m Rese*** Inst*** (IOP*I). Besides my academics, I have actively participated in social activities and seminars related to agriculture development, environment, and youth leadership both in national and international scale with IAAS, AIESEC,and Brawijaya Soil Science Student Association.

To conclude, I believe I am a suitable and qualified candidate for the Stu*** scholarship. Not only young professionals are needed in Indonesia's agricultural field, but I also believe that I have the appropriate skill-set, experience and strong motivation to potentially impact, enhance sustainable agriculture and improving local livelihood, particularly in Indonesia's degraded land.

Thank you for your consideration, and I look forward to hearing from you.

Hi. Good write up. Nevertheless, I observed a few things you could work on:
1. Grammatical expression on few lines e.g 'As a bachelor from soil science major' Maybe you should say ' As a Degree holder in......

2. You should consider giving definite instances where you actively participated in agricultural related activities and the lesson you learnt therefrom. Thanks

Farrasati, the most that you need to do with this essay is rearrange the paragraphs for a more interesting presentation. I would arrange the existing paragraphs in the following manner: 2,1,3, with a new concluding paragraph presented that reiterates how your qualifications make you a good candidate for the scholarship without bragging as your closing sentence does now. You should also add an idea as to how you plan to resolve the existing peat problem in your country as part of your motivation for advanced studies.

Reformat the presentation of the university advantages that you have in the current essay. Rather than simply enumerating the programs, explain how each program is related to your ambition / problem solution. That way the motivation in relation to the course and university choice becomes clearer to the reviewer. Also, you should look into the objectives of the scholarship and note which aspects you can refer to in relation to your motivations. That will help to hook the reviewer and also, show a relationship between your academic / professional goals and the scholarship support you are looking for.

Your essay is good but can be better, clearer, and more motivational in tone. I believe that the adjustments I made above should help you get closer to the ideal motivational letter for your application.