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Applying for a business school in Netherlands - Motivation letter for Business Administration

Croma 1 / -  
Mar 30, 2017   #1
Motivation letter - Business Administration - Radboud University

Hi, I am from Brazil and applying for a business school in Netherlands. Please you guy could tell me if that the mistakes that i have including gramaticaly.


contributing the classroom environment at Radboud

My name is XXXXXX, and would like to be a professional who combines the analyses of large amount of data from different sources with business strategic. The course structure of XXXXXXXXXX fits completely in my desire to be a professional with those qualities. Moreover, I believe that my diversified studies and work background would contribute the classroom environment.

I have studied Economic in one of the most prestigious universities in Brazil. In the beginning of my course I start an internship in a governmental economic research institution which had several professors of my university. Thereby, I had the opportunity to work with research in the field that I studied having close contact with my professors.

The next step in my career aroused my interest in programming and data analysis. I start to work in an energy trading company XXXXXXX as back office. While working and studying for my degree I started to learning programming languages, first by myself in online courses at coursera, and after doing presential courses. With this knowledge I successfully change for the risk analysis sector, working with strong models of energy price forecast. After 2 years working at XXXXX I had the opportunity to work abroad in a short term trainee program at XXXXX in London for 4 months, this international experience contributed for my self-development whereas I could improve my English skill and my knowledge in econometrics models.

Returning to my country in 2013, I participated in a trainee process for future leaders at Saraiva with more than 10000 candidates and was accepted by the company. XXXXX is one of the biggest retail companies, the biggest book seller in Brazil and one of the biggest publisher in the educational field. In the trainee program, I had several courses in finance and project management, a leadership coaching program for self-development and a rotate program in different areas of the company. During my trainee period I see some of Synergistic opportunities in both arms that the company operates, the editorial and bookseller. Therewith, I start new projects in the CRM area, using the data provides by the bookstore consumers for new products and new ways to treat relevant costumer for the publishing house, etc. Working in those projects presented as challenges, involving different business (retail and publisher) and different areas (I.T, Commercial, CRMs, supply chain) which demanded me a strong capacity of negotiation, communication and critical analyses.

These were some of my professional experiences that certain would contribute in my studies at XXXXXXX. I always been working while studying for my degree, hence, this master will be a valuable time to improve my knowledge in areas that I have strong interest. I am very attracted in some course modules as Strategic Decision Making which will provide me the theoretical vision of the company's decision and how to approach with a solution that need to manage with human resources and still maintaining the profitability of the company. Furthermore, the business and management subjects will fill some gaps in those skills, seeing that I had just a practical experience in some of those subjects.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 11,562 3753  
Mar 31, 2017   #2
Cesar, none of the information in your essay responds to the prompt requirement. The motivational letter instruction is clear. You are to present a thesis statement along with your plans for research at the university. This thesis should be a continuing research from your previous college (or otherwise) thesis paper. The reason that it has to be a continuing research is simple, you need to prove that you have the previous academic background to succeed in your course of study at Radboud. If you changing courses, then you need to set up a fresh thesis statement for your masters course. One that will highlight the method by which your studies at Radboud will help you complete. Specifically, you have to explain what facilities, programs, and research opportunities the university offers that aligns with your interests. That way, the reviewer can decide if you are a proper "fit" for the university. You need to be specific about your research plans and connect these research plans with your career prospects in the future. I do not see any of these clearly outlined in this essay. Please revise your essay and post it here for my assessment as an "Urgent" thread so that I can continue to assist you in the finalizing of your paper.
frenchfries 7 / 18  
Mar 31, 2017   #3
I think you should show your reasons why you want to choose this major and tell people about your future activities. What you are going to do as well as your experience related to your major. You shouldn't tell too much information. Tell what involved to the major. Express why you really want to study that kind of major.

In the last paragraph, ''I have always been working ...''
And some courses, not course.

In the fourth paragraph, using the data providedby the bookstore consumers.

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