Hi I am applying for erasmus mundus scholarship in Sustainable Transportation & electrical Power Systems and this is my motivational letter which should not exceed 250 words. Can anyone help to review and edit. Thanks
To reduce the high social and environmental costs of transportation in Nigeria, I believe it is important to invest in transportation systems that are sustainable and optimize renewable sources of energy. I aspire to study the development of electric vehicles and their incorporation into the global transport system, electric vehicle charging, smart grid integration and the evolution of the use of cleaner and more efficient sources of energy in transportation. This is why I am applying for the Erasmus Mundus Master Course in" Sustainable Transportation and Electrical Power Systems" with a keen interest in "Sustainable Transportation".
I have a BSc in Electrical & Electronics Engineering from Covenant University, Nigeria. For my final year project, I led a team of four that designed and implemented industrial and home automation systems which won the award for "Most Innovative Final Year Project". During the course of designing the project I developed great interest in areas of power electronics and electric power conversion.
The EMMC STEPS will provide me with the relevant skill sets required to excel in the exciting field of Electrical Transportation and Renewable Energy Systems, and understand future of global transportation and energy sectors. In addition, studying in Europe would widen my range of experience and give me a chance to gain world-class education, learn new languages, interact with colleagues from other countries and to make new friends. I intend to carry out my Final Master Thesis with the LEMUR project Research group at the University of Oviedo where I will decipher the best point of entry for the adoption of smart grids in Lagos, and the reshaping of transport systems in Nigeria on the long run.
Hi Eniola, I was able to edit your essay down to 232 words. Here it goes:
To reduce the high social and environmental costs of transportation in Nigeria, I believe it is important to invest ...
I am wondering though, don't you have any current relevant work experience or training along the lines of your interest for the masters degree? I just feel like it would better strengthen your essay than you college final year project. If you don't have any, then this motivational letter will work just fine now that it has been edited for content.
Here a few advice to help you get your scholarship.
first steps you should explain that you want the scholarship, why do you interest to Erasmus scholarship. you can explain detailing of your achievements and your better qualities. you come across as Electrical & Electronics Engineer and come across as if you are written by somebody else. and please don't go so far as begging for the scholarship, but at least highlight your intense desire for it. in other words not off topic. And then explain your future plans, please making the decision would like to know that you are invested in your studies, and one way to show you are invested is to have future plans.whit whom you want to take the course or your peers and that you have to talk about your future and your goals and how you struggle to achieve them.
secondly, you should explain how you have worked so far. it is definitely you show that you have been working hard and explain that you have worked hard over the last few years and that your dedication related to in Sustainable Transportation & electrical Power. Never forget to note that why should you get the scholarship over other people without pull down other people or even judge them. Do mention that you know others deserve the scholarship too, but make it clear that you have a solid resolve and show that you have planned for your future and that this qualification is needed/ necessary for you.
finally, before you submit/applying to erasmus mundus scholarship, you should check your work a few times when you finish. check detail for errors and please go back to it a few hours later and check it again, like typos or mistakes that are going to make you look silly. subject verb agreement like missing the "s" from the end of a word may make you appear as if you do not know any better (singular and plural noun). it si important part in each essay/ motivation letter