'networking between Indonesia and the Netherlands' Stuned Scholarship

Hello, my name is Pika. I would like to apply for the stuned scholarship. I am not good in writing, hehe, yet I still have written an essay to fulfill the requirement. The scholarship deadline is 1 April. I hope you can help me, guys. Many thanks to you. Here it is the question:

•The reason why you apply for the chosen program
•Your professional goals and how you intend to apply your study to Indonesian development
•And, in general, what makes you the best candidate for this scholarship
The essay should 500 words.
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Preversing Indonesian nature from human

Watching one of the nature documentary programs is being my hobby since I was a kid. I have a passion in nature observation until I went to the rainforest in Borneo to assist my college senior to conduct his research. I watched with my bare eyes that most of the rain forest area in Borneo becomes plantation. As a consequence, Indonesia's biodiversity is plummeting. Deforestation in Indonesia is not only one factor of biodiversity loss, but also it is contributing to gas emission in global state. The other effect occurs, the climate in Indonesia has changed. When I was young, people can predict when rain or dry season will come in several months. However, the climate cannot be predicted again because seldom rain will come in the dry season. There is "shift season" in a year. I apply to Climate Studies In Wageningen University because I want to learn about climate and the effect on the environment, then I want to educate people, especially Indonesian about the climate change effect in their life and environment and how to reduce it.

I have been working as a biosystematics trainer on Indonesia Team for International Biology Olympiad (TOBI) since 2014. Though it is a part time job, my job desk is to teach students about systematics and for a moment I told them about my experience lives in Indonesia's rainforest for two months to give an illustration to them concerning the reality of rainforest in Indonesia. In climate studies, I will obtain knowledge about mitigation, environmental assessment, management, and policy, also nature conservation, which will lend a hand to policy maker to make a decision. After graduated from the master program, I have a plan to teach about the correlation between biology and climate, and I want to be a climate scientist in Government or Non-government organization. I want to contribute to education and research program.

I have skills in identifying species and good in mathematics analysis that is suitable for show Indonesia's biodiversity which affected by climate change. For that reason, it will show to the world that climate change effect is a real. In addition, I have a connection with the lecturer in different university also the colleague in research organization such as the Flora Fauna International (FFI), Burung Indonesia, and Indonesian Institute of Science (LIPI) that can establish good networking between Indonesia and the Netherlands. I also have a good management and leadership experiment that helps me to be a leader and make a team. I hope with this reason, I can become one best candidate that suitable to obtain this scholarship.

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Regards,
Pika

Yunfika, in the first paragraph, you need to make sure that you do not just fall back on your previous experience regarding climate change in Indonesia and how it affects the weather patterns in the country. That is something that happens worldwide due to Global Warming. Admitting that you do not know anything about the climate and how it affects the environment is not a good implication. What course did you study in college? Since part of your college experience relates to nature trekking, it can be assumed that you actually studied a course related somewhat to your interest in climate change and its effect on people. Indicate that course and how it has helped to increase your interest in this particular field. Aside from educating the people, what other interests do you have that can be supported by this masters degree study? For example, are you a nature conservationist by profession? If so, how does this course relate to that profession? You need to think of serious reasons to support your interest. The presentation you have right now is very light and almost meant for a college application instead of a masters degree. There is a lack of seriousness in your reasons for wanting to complete and MS in this field. By the way, I think you made a mistake in the title. I think you meant to say "Preserving", not "Preversing".

For prompt number 2, the only actual response that you developed in the second paragraph comes from sentences 3,4,and 5. Try to focus the paragraph on better developing those sentences by offering expanded discussions of how the classes and / or training experiences will help to assist you in Indonesia by relating it to your plans to help improve the environmental studies sector of your country. Be more specific by explaining one idea as to how you plan to use your studies to develop that sector of Indonesian development. Your sentences need to be better developed to explain your plans and how it relates directly to say, the Indonesian government environmental projects. Pick a project and explain how your study plans fit into it.

In the "suitable candidate" paragraph. Aside from focusing on your leadership skills and networking abilities, it would be to your benefit if you can offer some academic achievements and professional recognition that you may have recently or in the past. While your practical skills are good, it is not the only consideration for your admission. So present some academic credentials that will beef up your credentials some more.

@Holt
thank you for your opinion, I will try to fix it as soon possible.

I think we usually use the "wet season" rather than rain season. And, i don't agree with this statement "However, the climate cannot be predicted again because seldom rain will come in the dry season", as i know to measure climate is hard, we need 20-30 years to know the general climate in one area, perhaps what do you meant here is "predict the season" not "the climate". I am sorry,just my opinion.