Dear Ms Mary Rose @Holt I would love to hear your opinion regarding my essay, Thanks a lot :)
the beneficial networking
Networking is about creating a group of acquaintances and associates and keeping it active to regular communication and exchange information or ideas for mutual benefits. In 2017, as the Person in Charge of Statistics Integrated Processing and Dissemination Division at Statistics of X, I had responsibility to create, compile and publish the Main Book of Statistics X, "X In Figures 2017" every 16th August. This is a mandatory book that is published yearly by Statistics Indonesia in every level of region, even national level and eagerly waited by data user, college students, researcher, and the Government. In order to fulfill the project, I collaborated with Official Statistics Division of X Government. They helped me to compile data from Stakeholders and Institution from X City Official. Then I initiated to hold a meeting, a Focus Group Discussion (FGD), to invite all the data sources. They were from Every Department of X Officials, Indonesia State Owned Enterprise, Central Government based in X, Some Companies and also Indonesia Specialized Agencies such as, Bank of Indonesia. The aim of this forum was to make the data processing of X In Figures easier and to broaden network related to my regular and upcoming tasks at Statistics of X. On that occasion, I acted as the main speaker of the forum content and we got chance to discuss and share ideas related to professional chances. The forum helped me a lot not only for accomplishing X in Figures but also other duties given at the office because the connection I have.
Another instance I used my networking skill was when I got involved in a survey called Integrity Assessment Survey (SPI) on November 2017. It was a new survey of Statistics Indonesia collaborating with Indonesia's Corruption Eradication Commission (KPK). It was a super sensitive survey because of the questions related to Anti-Corruption behavior. Our team had to interview the Clerk chief of X, Chief of some X Department Government Officials, the staffs and also some service user from the civil. Other teams from other city and regencies had difficulties accomplishing the survey because many of them were not cooperative and refused to be interviewed. With the connection I had and the help from my direct supervisor, I contacted the Statistics Division of X Government and contact persons from stakeholders related to SPI Survey. We held meeting to explain understanding about the survey and asked support from them. It gave positive result to our team, I arranged the schedule for each Department and they welcomed us well for the interview section.
In the future, I would like to broaden my network with chevening community especially in my fields by handling some meetings, having project that we could create regarding our related study and field. I would like to network with incoming chevening scholars not only in my country but also in the world to create project regarding statistics, surveys and to solve problem of Development Issues that I would like to decode.
Holt Educational Consultant - / 13,889 4564
Sherly, this is an example of a competitive networking essay. It really showcases your national networking skills to a point that shows how you could use the network and the information gained from it to help in the development of your country. While I have not read your leadership and influencing essay, I believe that you could use this networking essay to strongly support any claims you will be making in your leadership and influencing essay. I just hope you will not be repeating information in the leadership essay because Chevening rejects and application that has repetitive information in the application essays.
If you want to further improve this essay, you will need to add a transition paragraph that creates a connection between your first and second networking narratives because they seem to have some sort of professional connection on your part. The problem is that you have already written 497 words at this point so you will need to edit and shorten each paragraph you currently have in this essay in order to allow you to have at least 100 words free to create the transition / connecting paragraph. The connecting / transition paragraph should go between the current first 2 paragraphs of the essay. So the connecting paragraph will become the second paragraph, the bridge that helps the reader realize the connection between the two networks in your presentation.
The transition paragraph should clearly explain how you create your networks and why these networks are important to the performance of your overall tasks. Consider which of your networks have been of the most help in the performance of your duties and explain how you established that network. If you still have the space, discuss other methods of networking that you have used (excluding social media) such as inter agency cooperation and public sector networking (for the banking and other business industries). That should help to limit the need to explain how you created your network based on a work related requirement basis. Just make sure the networking you did ties together both activity A and activity B in the essay presentation and your essay should be alright.