NETWORKING SKILL IN RAISING FUND FOR AN EVENT

NETWORKING SKILL IS BENEFICIAL

Hi all, please help me to review my essay. This is for Chevening application. I appreciate your advice. Thank you

Chevening is looking for individuals with strong professional relationship building skills, who will engage with the Chevening community and influence and lead others in their chosen profession. Please explain how you build and maintain relationships in a professional capacity, using clear examples of how you currently do this, and outline how you hope to use these skills in the future. (minimum word count: 100 words; maximum word count: 500 words)

We human are social beings, who are not able to live alone in this earth. It means that one day we definitely need help from others. I love building relationship with others and develop connection . In my view, strong networking is started from communication, sharing and stay connected. Making new friends would widen networking and be highly helpful in the future. Furthermore, the more people I meet, the more things I learn. Everyone has different experience and background, by sharing those diversity will teach me new things.

My networking have developed since I joined and became a president of XXX, a spiritual organization in my campus. I started developing relationship with my juniors and seniors, lecturers, students from other organizations, alumni and students from other campus. For instance, I regularly made appointment with alumni to discuss about this community, their works and others. I also sometimes invited them to have a brainstorm and solve problems together with other members. Aside from organisation matters, I used to spend time with them to talk and share either personal or community things.

Many benefits I got from the networking I built, particularly when I and members were planning to hold a big event, campus Christmas celebration. Since many people would attend this event, we surely needed a large amount of money to hold this event. As a leader of XXX, I was responsible to find way to raise funds. I and members decided to submit proposals to my networking, alumni and lecturers, through whom finally I also could get more donors. With their recommendation, we were allowed to spread our proposals to their workplaces, their friends or other lecturers. I realized that we could not depend merely on proposals, therefore we decided to get fund by selling calenders. Again, with my networking, we successfully sold calenders to students from other campus and members of other organizations. In addition, I was even acquainted with new friends through them. As a result, unexpectedly all money we got from fundraising was surplus. Meanwhile, I and members decided to use it to do charity with providing meals for poor street people in some areas. To appreciate help and maintain good connection, the donors and some students were also invited to serve together in this charity activity. I was really glad of support from my networking, which finally assisted us to reach our goals to succeed the event.

I believe that networking is one of the keys to reach our goals. Building networking for life is not an instant thing, which imply that It does not come at once and we need process to maintain it. If I study in UK, I will meet many people from people other countries. It means I will be able to broaden my networking with those who are in same interest with me, particularly scholars and alumni in Chevening community. Through them, I could assist my other networking in my country to implement good corporate governance and resolve its issues.

Hey Elen,

The networking influence you are portraying is an important idea to emphasize. However, you should restructure the flow of the stories with more harmonious flow. Also there are instances in the fourth paragraph where you are pointing out that you have networking skills without clarifying the examples.

In regards to the spelling and grammatical errors, i think this essay needs proofreading from a professional. But you can still check it through an online grammar checker/ proofreader.

Hi,
I think you can cut some words in the first paragraph. You need more words to give example of your networking skills

this sentence, for example,
" I realized that we could not depend merely on proposals, therefore we decided to get fund by selling calenders. Again,with my networking, we successfully sold calenders to students from other campus and members of other organizations "

it led me to questions. what did you meant by "with my networking"? how did you do that? maybe it'll be good to make it more clear in the essay

@Holt please help me to review my networking and my revised essay.
I hope you kindly help me.
Thank you

Hi @rhm
Thank you for you review, I will try to rearrange my essay

@HNT
Thank you for your suggest. I am also waiting for other professional review. I hope they will help me to review my essay too.

Elen, your networking skill is too amateur and it did not evolve into a professional network for yourself so I do not believe that this is a competitive networking essay. A competitive networking essay is one that shows how you develop, maintain, and use your professional contacts within your profession. What you shared here is an extremely vague academic network that did not seem to have any relation to your profession at all. Therefore, this was only an extra curricular activity but not a networking activity. For the networking essay, you have to remember this most important requirement for your presentation:

...who will engage with the Chevening community and influence and lead others in their chosen profession.

As you can see, the professional setting is the highlight of the essay and that is what the essay should focus on. The academic network can only used to signify the evolution of your networking skills, it cannot be the focal point of your networking essay. You need to showcase your ability to network in a professional capacity. This is not the essay that responds to those requirements. Start over and write a more relevant essay.

Hi

I really appreciate your help. Thank you for reviewing. I already doubted my essay, it is why I ask help to review this. I think I have to make new networking essay.

Besides, I really need your help to review my new revised of leadership skill. You have reviewed the old version before. I hope you kindly want to review the new version too. Please give me suggestions about the revised one

Thank you