Hi all! I'm about to be a sophomore at Drew University majoring in Business, but with career goals to be a UX/UI Designer. I'm applying for a scholarship by my mother's union. The prompt is quite broad: Explain how this scholarship will assist in your pursuit of higher education. (Minimum 500 words). I've taken it in the direction of how it'll help me in every sector of my schooling.
I'm looking for critique on my overall structure, grammer and if it is too cliché:
Friedrich Nietzche, German philosopher and poet, said that "Many are stubborn in pursuit of the path they have chosen, few in pursuit of the goal,". Yes, I was told to never start an essay off with a quote, like in the eighth grade and yes, I'll admit that I found this on BrainyQuotes. However, Nietzche hit it right on the nail with saying that often people get too caught up in the way they're doing something instead of what they're doing.
For as long as I can remember, I too often focused on the road to where I was going and not often doing the best I possibly could to get there. In my mind, it was more important to finish it than to do it to the best of my ability. As you can possibly tell, that has since changed. In my first year of college at Hunter College in NYC, I stepped into class expecting it to be as easy as my high school classes AKA I was in for a massive reality check.
Though I did well in my classes, I become overwhelmed with all the steps, all the projects and all of the assignments being thrown at me. In an attempt to figure out everything, I sacrificed learning for finalized products. This not only made me feel guilty, but also miss the point of college altogether.
By the end of my first semester, not only was I miserable, but I was withdrawn from all of my classes. I didn't want to deal with the syllabi or the lectures, I couldn't comprehend how I was supposed to handle it all. To regress, this feeling of overwhelm, and lack of control, did not appear out of nowhere; a steady part-time job was the culprit.
This scholarship would allow me to have more time to focus on my studies. Everyday I often spend four to five hours on school work, resulting in over 30 hours of work done at a minimum per week. This leaves very little time for a job, which is essential to my financial stability right now.
I am currently working towards a Bachelor's Degree in Business and Italian. My career goals are to become a UX/UI Designer and have the opportunity to work with businesses across the globe. However, I have already taken out two loans, totalling over $30,000 and I'm only halfway through my college career. When I graduate, I'm going to struggle to make monthly payments and growing interest. This $2,500 would allow for me to focus more time on my studies and less on figuring out how I am going to make my payments.
The federal and state financial assistance problems have decided that I do not qualify for help. This means that all help I get must come from scholarships and/or grants. I have worked hard to get as many scholarships as I possibly can; however, it still does not suffice the help I need.
The largest part of this all is that this scholarship would fill the gap for me. I am extremely close to being able to pay my full tuition with loans, scholarships and grants, but I am still not there yet. I am terrified that I will not be able to start classes on time, because I am only a bit off.
I strongly believe that giving an opportunity creates a domino effect of giving. As a current college student, I cannot only understand the struggles of financially affording school, but also being involved and doing well in classes. If I were to be awarded this scholarship, I would have the time I need to create a scholarship system at my school for students who do not have access to federal and/or state financial assistance in the tri-state area. Giving back would be my way of showing my appreciation for being awarded a tremendous scholarship.
I'm looking for critique on my overall structure, grammer and if it is too cliché:
I'm focusing on pursuing this scholarship
Friedrich Nietzche, German philosopher and poet, said that "Many are stubborn in pursuit of the path they have chosen, few in pursuit of the goal,". Yes, I was told to never start an essay off with a quote, like in the eighth grade and yes, I'll admit that I found this on BrainyQuotes. However, Nietzche hit it right on the nail with saying that often people get too caught up in the way they're doing something instead of what they're doing.
For as long as I can remember, I too often focused on the road to where I was going and not often doing the best I possibly could to get there. In my mind, it was more important to finish it than to do it to the best of my ability. As you can possibly tell, that has since changed. In my first year of college at Hunter College in NYC, I stepped into class expecting it to be as easy as my high school classes AKA I was in for a massive reality check.
Though I did well in my classes, I become overwhelmed with all the steps, all the projects and all of the assignments being thrown at me. In an attempt to figure out everything, I sacrificed learning for finalized products. This not only made me feel guilty, but also miss the point of college altogether.
By the end of my first semester, not only was I miserable, but I was withdrawn from all of my classes. I didn't want to deal with the syllabi or the lectures, I couldn't comprehend how I was supposed to handle it all. To regress, this feeling of overwhelm, and lack of control, did not appear out of nowhere; a steady part-time job was the culprit.
This scholarship would allow me to have more time to focus on my studies. Everyday I often spend four to five hours on school work, resulting in over 30 hours of work done at a minimum per week. This leaves very little time for a job, which is essential to my financial stability right now.
I am currently working towards a Bachelor's Degree in Business and Italian. My career goals are to become a UX/UI Designer and have the opportunity to work with businesses across the globe. However, I have already taken out two loans, totalling over $30,000 and I'm only halfway through my college career. When I graduate, I'm going to struggle to make monthly payments and growing interest. This $2,500 would allow for me to focus more time on my studies and less on figuring out how I am going to make my payments.
The federal and state financial assistance problems have decided that I do not qualify for help. This means that all help I get must come from scholarships and/or grants. I have worked hard to get as many scholarships as I possibly can; however, it still does not suffice the help I need.
The largest part of this all is that this scholarship would fill the gap for me. I am extremely close to being able to pay my full tuition with loans, scholarships and grants, but I am still not there yet. I am terrified that I will not be able to start classes on time, because I am only a bit off.
I strongly believe that giving an opportunity creates a domino effect of giving. As a current college student, I cannot only understand the struggles of financially affording school, but also being involved and doing well in classes. If I were to be awarded this scholarship, I would have the time I need to create a scholarship system at my school for students who do not have access to federal and/or state financial assistance in the tri-state area. Giving back would be my way of showing my appreciation for being awarded a tremendous scholarship.
