It was one my best volunteering experiences. 2nd Scholarship Essay for Transferring Colleges

A personal leadership experience that has greatly impacted my development is when I volunteered at a nursing home. It was one my best volunteering experiences.

Volunteering there had a huge impact on me because it solidified my ambition to work in the health care field. I came to realize that it is one thing to say that you want to achieve something, but when you have the opportunity to experience it, it can completely change your out look on what you want to achieve. Thankfully for me, it was for the better.

Volunteering there also impacted me socially. I met and worked with amazing people that I will always remember. It also helped me learn that I need to communicate more with the people that I work with. One important trait the had an impact on me was not to micromanage. Just because I was in charge it doesn't mean that I have to do everything myself. Mostly, not to take criticism to heart and to learn and grow from it.

There are many things that I learned while volunteering at a nursing home. Most of them having to do with being a better leader and worker in a group. Even though I have learned many things I know that there is plenty more to learn and experience.

Any comments and suggestions?
Thank you in advance,
Ashley

Ashley, I hope you find this helpful. :)

Your introductory paragraph sounds like your are answering a direct Question. You do not need to repeat the prompt in the beginning and some of your points can be input in the second paragraph.

Start like this --- I was one of the executives and leader of a group that volunteered in X hospital or X community. Our main goal was to rendered a selfless service to the growing community, being a person that has been longing to work and acquire more feat in the medical field I gladly embrace the activity as a way fulfilling my ambition and playing my own in giving back to my community.

Volunteering there also impacted me socially.You are so much into using the word volunteering use something like this --->

Through my involvement in this cause, I was able to met with more medical inclined people, those who contributed to shaped my medical views. As one of the leaders, the role contributed to my social life as I had the opportunity to relate with many people and I made me learned some valuable leadership skills.

You can use the template in reviewing your essay. ;)